


Signal

by Laika_the_husband (Laika_the_wife)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anal Sex, Banter, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Cabins, Car Accidents, Chickens, Crushes, Damsel In Distress Kink, Graphic Description, Grumpy Isak, Hunters & Hunting, Injury Recovery, Isak Takes Care of Even, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Obsession, POV Even Bech Næsheim, Pining, Rough Sex, Sauna, Sex, Shame, Snowballing, Woodsman!Isak, dead animal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:32:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laika_the_wife/pseuds/Laika_the_husband
Summary: Something completely different for a change. Different to my other work, that is.Even, one of the most active people on murdersweb.no, has been working on the Valtersen case for years. Now he has finally made a breakthrough. He's found Valtersen's hideout. He packed up his camera gear and headed out to get an interview that no TV channel would refuse. His road to the industry has finally been paved.He had not expected to find himself stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with no phone signal, at the mercy of his target.He also had not expected to find himself fall for him.The graphic content is a detailed description of a dead woodland animal and its wounds. The Blood and Gore tag refers to that as well.Evak endgame guaranteed.





	1. Chapter 1

As he crossed the line of civilization Even’s phone exploded. The traveler’s seat vibrated and the cacophony of notifications clicked, clinged, beeped and tweeted for nearly a minute before the silence returned. He had been off the grid for a tad over thirty hours. All for nothing.

When the screen finally got dark again an alluring light remained, blinking in the upper left corner. Even had read about fish that swim deep in the oceans, making their own light and luring prey. Will-o’-the-wisps, the GIF-advertisements, the light filtering through the leaves, the sparkle on the surface of moving water or the skin of a burlesque dancer. All of it the same, ancient, impossible to shut out. Even kept his eyes on the road and grabbed his phone blind, flipped it over and placed it back on the seat with the radio panel he had removed earlier keeping it company. Not now. Not yet. He wanted to stretch the silence for a bit more.

The road squirmed in long curves along a long gone, dried out riverbed. The sun hung low on the sky. A couple of weeks more and it’d be dark by this hour. Dark for six months. Even picked up a silvery thermal flask and gave it a shake. Only a little bit left, cooled off hours ago. Even grimaced as he drank the bitter fluid. His heartburn had been manageable for a long time, but after this trip it would surely make a comeback.

Even cursed under his breath. His whole project had depended on this trip being a success. But it hadn’t been one. The satellite images had been wrong. Even had found the exact coordinates but there was nothing there, only trees. His big breakthrough never happened, and now he had to go back to his tiresome everyday life selling crap on the phone. It was far from glamorous but he got to talk with people all day and he was pretty good at his job. It paid the bills. But he longed for something much more than just surviving, he wanted to thrive.

The studs of the snow tires grinded on the dry road. There had been some black ice on the way there, but the cloudy night followed by a sunny day had made it melt away. The highways were probably in good condition by now, but here in the woods there were some shadowy patches where it was still slippery. There had been no passersby for hours, and Even was feeling a bit drowsy. As he saw something greyish brown at the corner of his eye he threw the flask to the passenger side floor and grabbed the feel so hard the bones in his palms hurt. He slammed the brakes and forgot to scream.

 

Balls of coagulated blood had clung into the greyish hair. They circulated a hole of red with some bone white peeking in the middle. There was so little light left that the whiteness was the first thing Even’s eyes focused on. He stared at it, trying to understand, if the bone belonged to him or something else. It took a long time. It got dark.

Even woke from his trance when he felt something tickle his cheek. He scraped his face and caught something small and alive. He shivered in disgust and that made him cry out in pain. He didn’t know why exactly, but between his hip and his toes something was obviously very wrong. Even reached for his phone in the dark, he needed light, but his fingers met only lukewarm rough hair. The tips of the hair tickled the back of Even’s hand and in his mind he saw an army of deer flies marching from the carcass onto his defenseless skin. He yanked his hand back and cried out in pain again. Something was burning at the back of his throat. He couldn’t throw up, not now, when his puke had nowhere to go but on him.

When Even touched his face he felt it was wet. Wet and kind of sticky. He followed the trail higher with his fingertips and hissed when he felt the sting at his hairline. A wound. Not a big one, nothing serious, head was filled with thin veins and all head wounds bled like crazy. Even ran the symptoms of severe blood loss in his mind. He wasn’t sweating or thirsty, and as he tested his pulse from his wrist his heartbeat felt normal, strong and regular, and his fingers were just a bit cool. He couldn’t be sure if he was disoriented or not, because he was alone.

Since there was nobody else present to make the decision for him, Even decided to declare he hadn’t suffered blood loss. That was a start. Next he tried to move, very carefully. His right leg obeyed him, but the left didn’t. Pain rushed along the nerveways all the way up to his skull when he tried to move his leg, and he was smart enough to give up immediately. When the pain had settled Even moved his arms. They worked. Comforting.

Light. Even didn’t want to fumble in the dark anymore, he didn’t want to touch god knows what, he needed light. He couldn’t locate the blinking of his phone anywhere. Even turned the headlights on but they were of no use: one was busted and the other one was pointing to the ground.

“Idiot”, Even hissed and pressed his fingers against the ceiling. He found a switch and turned it. Warm light blackened the windows and revealed the destruction inside the car. A deer, a young one, was half way in through the windshield. It was some kind of a miracle that its hoof hadn’t pierced his abdomen, the tip barely grazed the camo fabric. Something had peeled the deer’s leg bare to the bone almost all the way through and its dead black eye stared at Even behind the wheel. It looked like glass. The deer’s tongue was just a grotesque pinkish blob hanging outside its mouth. Even felt sick again.

The shards of glass on the front seat weren’t sharp. Lucky for Even, since his hands shook as he pushed them aside to find his phone. Finally he saw the familiar, comforting black rectangle. Even picked it up and whimpered involuntarily. The screen was fractured, and when he tried to turn it on the phone remained dark.

“Fuck!” Even screamed at the deer carcass on his car. “Fucking fucker fuck animal!”

It was getting cold. Even had a thermo blanket in the car but it was in the trunk. Maybe he could start the engine? Even tried to see outside through the remains of the windshield but couldn’t tell if the bonnet was smashed or not. It was hidden under the twisted remains of the deer. The keys were still on their place and since the light stayed on the battery was alive, but the thought of using or moving his left leg horrified Even. He didn’t want to do it for nothing.

When he started to see his breath in small white clouds and the first shivers wanted to shake his body Even accepted his destiny. There wasn’t anybody to hear him scream, and if there was, even better. Then they might come to help him. Even took a deep breath, turned his hip and screamed. The pain burned the whole left side of his body like fire as he forced himself to push his left leg off the clutch - he nearly passed out from the pain - and drag his right leg over so he could press the clutch down. His fingers slipped on the keys a couple of times but finally he was able to turn them. The engine coughed once, twice, then it started. Even switched the gear on park, yanked the hand brake and screamed again as he pulled back to sit up straight again.

When he came to from his near unconsciousness Even opened his eyes and looked at the gas meter. A bit under half full.

“Fuck!” Even slapped his hand on his mouth. He realized only now that had the fuel been leaking on the road, under the car, one little spark could make him disappear into a huge fireball. A spark like, say, igniting an engine would make. Even sniffed frantically but couldn’t smell any gasoline, only the musk and blood and deerpiss. At least he hoped it was deerpiss.

Nothing exploded. The phone remained dead. Even turned the light off to save precious fuel. It would have to be enough until someone came by to help. Some people lived here in the middle of nowhere and some of them had to leave home sometimes, right? They had to.

Even mustn’t fall asleep. If he slept and someone drove by, and they fiddled with their radio or something on the critical half a second their headlights brushed Even’s car, they’d never know he was there. And that someone might be the only person driving here all day. Or all week..no. Not a week. But a couple of days was long enough without water. Even’s eyes tried to focus on the deer’s wound, it traveled into the darkness around the region he remembered seeing it, and nausea twisted his guts when he realized what he was thinking about. It would probably have been a horrible idea, didn’t blood like spoil the meat if it wasn’t let out soon after death? Vomiting and diarrhea were the last things he needed right now.

Even tried to figure out what time it was, but he really had no way of doing that. It was dark, but this time of year it was dark 16 hours a day. It had been dark for a long time now, but he couldn’t tell for sure if he had dozed off or not. His body was in pain and in shock, his mind as well, and his mood only darkened when he came to understand that the time for his medication had probably passed a long time ago. Shit.

He felt so helpless. It was a familiar feeling in itself, but this time it was really unfair. He had come prepared! He had his camera gear, his tent, binoculars - optical and infrared, his camping clothes, flashlights, rations, water bottles and all kinds of survival equipment..all in the trunk of the car. Less than two metres away but still out of reach.

A beam of light caught Even’s eye. It shone between the trees, through the darkness, it was coming from a pair of headlight heading his way. Even started flashing his headlight and blinkers, honking the horn, he made as much sound and light he possibly could to catch the driver’s attention.

It worked. The car slowed down and when it was at Even’s car’s side it stopped. It was a slightly battered jeep with a pick-up back. Even pushed the door open.

“Help! Please! I think I broke my leg, I’m trapped in here!”

The driver turned the engine off. He opened the door and stepped out. Even recognised him immediately. He had manned up, bulked up and grown a manly stubble, but if that man wasn’t Isak Valtersen then he wasn’t Even Bech Næsheim. He had found him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a tragedy. Young girl, beautiful, only sixteen, found dead. The murder of Emma W. Larzen and the following trial was the media event of the year. Maybe even of  the decade. It was the perfect story. An innocent first year student with the future ahead of her falls for the bad boy from the second year, they start dating, the girl starts spiraling - alcohol, pot, pills, missing classes, sexual promiscuity, rumors of abortion - and finally ends up dead. Everybody knows the boyfriend did it, or at least was responsible, but all evidence is circumstantial and finally, after three years of trials, the boyfriend walks. Isak Valtersen walks free and social justice movements - #justiceforemma was one of the most trending hashtags in Norway three years straight - go ballistic. Isak Valtersen disappears.

Valtersen’s disappearance had started a machine that was still running. Conspiracy theories, ideas of vigilantes, suicide, witness protection, mafia..it was unstoppable. Consultants gave lectures on criminology, journalism, social studies and virality, three different TV-shows were made and devoured by the audience, online murder communities thrived. The first big question, did Isak Valtersen kill Emma, had now company: where is Isak Valtersen?

Even - DetectivE, one of the most active users of murdersweb.no - had been completely immersed into the story of Emma and Isak. They had been only a couple of years younger than him, from the same city, he knew people who had known either or both of them. But everything he could gather was second hand info. Nothing from the source. Isak Valtersen sat through all the trials without saying anything, without even showing his face. All pictures of him were from before when Emma’s body was discovered. When he was heard in court the doors were closed from media and the records were kept secret. Nobody except Isak Valtersen knew for certain, had he killed Emma or not. And Even had been determined to find him and ask.

On a good day Even was willing to admit that his obsession with Isak Valtersen was not healthy. On a good day he might’ve even agreed that his monomania was a manifestation of his condition. But that didn’t stop him from pursuing his goal. He wanted to find Isak Valtersen, get him to tell the truth to him and film it. That video would be his ticket to the industry. No mental disorder could close a door that video had opened. It was his chance, not just his best chance but probably the only one.

On bad days Even had drowned into his research. He’d dive in old social media posts, instagram photos, tumblr posts, tweets, articles, videos, episodes, whatever he could get his hands on. A wall in his apartment looked like in the movies where serial killers collect information on their targets, with maps, pictures, print-outs and pieces of thread connecting them all. But he wasn’t crazy, he told himself, he was organized. All the real information was scattered in an ocean of disinformation and rumors, and the vast majority of available data was irrelevant. He just needed some visual aid.

His research had been standing still for weeks when he hit the jackpot. Someone was selling satellite images of Isak Valtersen’s current residence, with coordinates, in the dark web. All memorabilia of Emma’s case was sought after and high priced, and Even had to dig deep into his savings to make the purchase. The rest of the money he had spent on preparing for his trip. He bought a better camera, a good bag for it and its accessories, he rented a car and purchased all the gear he’d need to survive in a northern forest in early November. He hadn’t really had a plan, he was going to think of one once he’d found Valtersen, but he had never got that far. He had never found the house. The images and coordinates had been fake. Even had spent the whole weekend rummaging through the woods and found nothing. He had left back home empty handed.

There we was now. Isak fucking Valtersen stood on the road between his and Even’s car, wearing a plaid shirt under a teddy lined leather jacket and looking dark, mysterious and dangerous. Even’s heart was pounding. He was face to face to an actual murderer, with a broken leg and a deer carcass keeping him from running away. All that man had to do was stab him in the stomach and pull the deer hoof into the wound. He’d get away with everything, once again.

“Please”, Even whispered. “Please mister Valtersen, I don’t want to die.”

Valtersen raised his eyebrow. He didn’t seem pleased. Even wanted to kick himself. Now he would die for sure. Isak Valtersen did not want to be found.

Even winced as the man stepped closer and grabbed the deer. He pulled the carcass off the hood and yanked it over his head. It landed to the back of his pick-up with a sickening thud. It was just a leather bag full of flesh and bones, all life had escaped it hours ago. He was about to be next.

Valtersen peeked inside through the door. As he reached next to Even’s leg Even whimpered, terrified. He closed his eyes and as he heard a loud popping sound he yelped. But the pain he had expected never came. Even opened his eyes and saw Valtersen walk to the trunk. He had just pulled the lever that opens the trunk.

Even begged and pleaded as he watched, helpless, how Valtersen packed all of his gear into his car. He took the camera bag, his backpack, tent, sleeping bag, water supply and blankets. All Even’s pleas were for nothing. Valtersen didn’t budge, his expression didn’t change, he worked efficiently and in silence and in a couple of minutes he closed the trunk.

The man came to Even. He was holding a knife.

“Please!” Even squaked, his voice ridiculously small. “Please don’t --”

Valtersen cut the seatbelt in two places. Pain lashed Even repeatedly, in short rapid pulses, as his body moved.

“This will hurt”, Valtersen said grimly. He wrapped his arms around Even and pulled him out of the car. Even screamed at the top of his lungs. He kept screaming when he lied on the cold hard road on his back.

“This will hurt more.” As Valtersen grabbed Even’s leg and pulled it straight Even couldn’t even scream anymore. He couldn’t breathe enough to form a scream, and while Valtersen bound his leg onto the poles of his tent he kind of passed out. It was like he was in a dream, watching Valtersen operate, seeing himself on the road, but he really was somewhere else. Detached.

Even watched as Valtersen put a splinter on his leg. He was pulled up and he hopped on one foot, leaning on Valtersen, to the front seat of Valtersen’s car. The door closed, he closed his eyes, and when he opened them he was back in his own body, but otherwise he had no idea where he was. It was dark. The woods and the road were pitch black, and the headlights drew to view only limited cones of the scenery. The clock on the dashboard said it was half past four.

“Wh--where are you taking me?” Even muttered. Valtersen turned up the volume on the stereo. The bass thudding startled Even, and that sudden movement shot darts of pain from his leg.

“Are you listening to..what, is this NAS?”

Valtersen turned the volume higher. The bass blasted and Even got the hint. He shut up. He leaned his temple against the side window and stared into the darkness, feeling the bass beat in his guts. Valtersen listened to nineties hip hop. He was sitting in Valtersen’s car. He was so close to Valtersen he could’ve just reached out and touched him. He might have, but it would have been hard to explain. How do you tell a likely off the grid murderer that you have developed some kind of a crush on their old high school pictures?

Wait, Even thought, no. That was not a relevant question, because he  _ absolutely would not tell _ Valtersen about that crush. Luckily he was now so drowsy because of shock and pain and exhaustion, otherwise he might’ve let something slip just out of nervous need to chatter. He needed to be careful. He needed to stay safe. Valtersen was an unconvicted murderer and he was now at his mercy.

When the car stopped and the blasting rap silenced Even woke up again. Valtersen opened his door and light flooded into the car. It was pitch black outside. Even’s head hurt almost as much as his leg. And his bladder was about to explode. He glanced at Valtersen, nervous, he did not want to ask but his urge forced him to.

“I..uh, I haven’t taken a leak in at least ten hours.”

Valtersen raised his eyebrow.

“And, um, I can’t really. Uh, I can’t really walk so.” Even felt how he was blushing. Why was he blushing in front of a murderer?

Valtersen rolled his eyes. His expression had the same groaning indifference as a teenager would have when asked to do something, anything really. Was there still a boy under all that Man? Valtersen got out of the car and closed the door. Even was left in the dark, his heart racing and bladder aching. He nearly wet himself when Valtersen pulled open the door on his side.

Even could smell the woodsy scent that had stuck to Valtersen’s hair as he leaned over him to unbuckle his seatbelt. He smelled of pine, and of smoke, and of earth. It was so dark that Even couldn’t see him, but he felt his presence and it made his skin crawl. Or tingle. Those sensations were very similar. Even gasped as Valtersen grabbed him and cried out in pain when Valtersen pulled him out of the car.

They took two steps into the darkness, Even leaning on Valtersen and hopping, when the motion detector caught on and the lights turned on. Even saw a log cabin, a shed and an outhouse. Valtersen didn’t say a word, just walked Even to the small shack and opened the door. At least there was a toilet seat on the hole.

“I am not your mother. Do your business on your own”, Valtersen grunted and closed the door. Light seeped in through the cracks of the boards. Even grit his teeth and finally got himself down on the seat and could release the pressure in his poor bladder. It was the longest piss he had ever taken. The seat was freezing, as were his balls, but still it was also one of the best pisses ever.

After he had finished Even pulled himself up by the wooden door handle. He pulled up his pants and zipped them. He jumped when he heard the car start. Was Valtersen leaving? He stared at the door for a panicked moment, trying to decide if it was bolted shut or not. It didn’t make any sense, why would Valtersen drag him here from his car to just lock him in his outhouse, but by now Even hadn’t been in a sensible mood for quite a while. He pushed the door, and to his relief it opened.

Valtersen was at the truck. He had driven it close to the house and unpacked all of Even’s things and now was pulling the deer carcass by the legs. Even stared at him. He was so strong. That thing weighed a lot, and Valtersen just picked it up. Well, not just, he was visibly strained, but still..he was much stronger than Even had ever been. Even would have kicked himself for ogling at him like this if he had two working legs. But he had only one, and it started to get weary from carrying all his weight.

Valtersen dragged the carcass to the porch and attached a huge metal hook into it. Then he pulled it up into the air, secured the rope and Even couldn’t help thinking that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow Valtersen would hoist his body up there like that. The thought made him shiver. Or maybe it was just the cold. But when Valtersen was done and turned around to look at Even he shivered again, and it felt warm.


	3. Chapter 3

Valtersen walked to Even. The short distance seemed to take him forever. Time had slowed down, everything was slow. The shadows were sharp in the bright light and they played on Valtersen’s face, making them look grim and dangerous. Even didn’t notice he was holding his breath until he was starting to feel light headed. He breathed out and the cold air turned it into an enormous cloud. When the cloud diffused Even saw Valtersen’s face, so close to his. Even jumped a bit, and then whined at his pain.

Valtersen rolled his eyes. He grabbed Even by the wrist. His fingers felt cool against the bare thin skin. Did Valtersen feel his pulse, how his heart was racing? Did he think about making that beat stop? Had Even stopped breathing again? He counted the clouds. Only one, Valtersen’s, Even took a sharp breath in and made another cloud. Good, good, keep breathing. While you still can.

Even winced when Valtersen threw his arm over his shoulders. He shivered when he felt Valtersen’s fingers under his ribs. It must have been just exhaustion. He was tired. That’s why he was acting and feeling like a fucking teenager, that’s why his whole body felt untouched by anyone else but Valtersen. That’s why he couldn’t stop thinking about their bodies when his life was in danger.

The walk to the cabin took forever. Even was tired, he was in pain, Valtersen seemed a bit worn out himself from unpacking the car. And it was late. Even had no idea what time it was, but it must have been near morning. The sun wouldn’t rise in hours, they were alone in the dark. He was alone in the dark, with a murderer. He should have been more scared.

Even looked at the steps that led up to the porch. Three of them. He could not put any weight on his injured leg, and he was so tired. He was already out of breath, he couldn’t jump with one foot. He looked at Valtersen, desperate.

“I won’t make it.”

Valtersen huffed. He spun them around and stepped in front of Even, taking his hands. What? Why? He was standing so close, Even couldn’t take his eyes off of his lips. He parted his own.

“Sit.”

Even blinked, confused. What? Valtersen sighed.

“You have long legs. Lean back and sit down on the porch.”

Even tried it. He hung on to Valtersen’s hands, he saw him pull back and flex his chest and arms. God he looked good. He looked good in Nissen but now, grown up, he looked amazing. And Even was a twisted idiot, drooling over the man whose mercy he was at. With their joint effort they got Even sitting down on the cold slippery porch. Valtersen let go of his hands and grabbed his legs, before Even had time to prepare or be nervous about the pain his body had been turned 90 degrees to the side and his legs rested on the porch in front of him.

“OW.”

“Done.” Valtersen walked up the three steps and reached down to give Even his arm. It took them a while to get Even upright, but they were successful. By the time they had made it inside the cabin Even was dripping with sweat despite the cold.

The cabin was cozy. The walls were painted white, the floors made of planks. It had only one room and a curtain, behind with Even presumed Valtersen’s bed was hidden since he couldn’t see one in the cabin. A black cast iron stove stood next to the fireplace. As the passed it Valtersen tried the brick wall above the fireplace with his hand. Even could feel the warmth radiating from it. Valtersen pulled out a chair with his foot and helped Even sit down. He did so with gratitude, he was panting and sweating and his leg hurt like hell.

The cabin was warm. Even pulled off his coat and let it hang over the back of the chair. His hat he put on the table. Valtersen took some logs from a pile by the door and opened the hatch of the fireplace. There were still some orange embers, and when Valtersen added the bone dry wood on them it caught fire. The light on the yard turned off and the cabin got dark, apart from the glow of the fire playing on Valtersen’s face. Even was feeling light headed again. Valtersen took a battery operated led lamp and turned it on. He hung it on a hook on the ceiling. It lit up the room, somewhat dimly by the walls, but after the darkness the light felt bright.

There was a couch made of pallets stacked on each other by the wall. Unfinished board, a mattress on top of them, and a couple of pillows. Valtersen opened a cabinet and took out a sheet. He spread it on the mattress, threw the pillows back on and got a blanket from the armchair. Even’s bed was made.

“Uh. I haven’t taken my medication today.”

“What medication?” Valtersen went to check the fire. He added a log in the fireplace and closed the hatch.

“Ummmm.” Even didn’t want to tell him that he was mentally ill. But he had little choice, he had only packed enough for the time he had planned to stay away from home for. He had one dose of everything left and that was it. Maybe he should wait until tomorrow, to stretch them out, to make a plan. “They’re just for my blood pressure. It can wait until morning, I’ll just skip them for today and get back in the rhythm tomorrow.”

Valtersen shrugged. He bought it. But talking about medication had apparently reminded him of Even’s pain, he went to the small cabinet hanging on the wall and opened it. A medicine cabinet. Painkillers. Even’s eyes got a greedy shade when he looked at the boxes Valtersen placed on the table in front of him.

“One each. They need to last.”

Even’s hands were shaking as he opened the boxes, took the sheets out and pressed one of each pills on his palm. Valtersen went to get water from a bucket covered with a lid. This place was really off the grid, then. Even was lost, he had disappeared into a white spot on the map. And he was at Valtersen’s mercy. He took the pills and swallowed them dry, drank the water after them. He asked for more water, Valtersen gave it to him. Two more times.

“You will get food tomorrow”, Valtersen said. He brought an empty bucket with a lid by the couch. “Piss in this if you need to go. Put the lid on when you’re done.”

Even nodded. He’d hold until morning if he just could. Pissing in a bucket was so humiliating. Valtersen helped him up and to his bed. Even was happy it was as high as it was. He could sit down and stand up on his own. Even took his shirt off and opened his jeans, slid them over his ass and sat down on the bed. Valtersen removed the tent pole splinters. Even had to bite the inside of his cheek when Valtersen grabbed the jeans and pulled them down. He was happy his leg hurt so much that his body was busy worrying about that.

After getting rid of his jeans Even pulled his legs carefully on the bed. After retying the splinter on the injured leg Valtersen spread the blanket over him. It was a bit short, it came just up to his nipples. Barely covered them, the edge was brushing at them. Even put his arm over his chest. Valtersen turned off the light, but Even could still see his form in the flickering warm light streaming through the glass doors of the fireplace. He pretended to have his eyes closed but he was totally peeking, he was staring at the man who unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his muscular shoulders. Even had to bit his lip to keep quiet when he was watching the light play on Valtersen’s back, then on his chest, his arms, his thighs. He looked good enough to eat.

“Good night”, Valtersen said and walked to the curtain. He pulled it aside just a bit, disappeared into the darkness behind it and pulled the curtain closed. Even opened his eyes, blinking slowly. Holy shit he was in trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

Even woke up to the absolute silence. No humming of the fridge, no sounds of traffic, neighbours, nothing. Even the fire had settled into glowing embers, quiet and dim. Even could hear his blood flow in his veins. He tried to listen carefully if he could hear Valtersen, snore or move or even breathe, but he heard nothing. It was dark. Even took his fingers in front of his face but he couldn’t see them. Only when he looked at the fireplace and moved his hand across the dim red he could spot the movement, the shadow.

His leg didn’t hurt. He was enjoying that blessed moment of painlessness, when the painkillers had reached their full potential but not yet started to deteriorate. He was not in pain. He was alone in the dark, in the silence, his head resting on pillows that smelled like Valtersen. He was lying in sheets that smelled like Valtersen, like wood and smoke and musk. This whole cabin had that same scent, and it was slowly driving Even mad. It filled up his nostril, his sinuses, his brain, like a fever. It made his skin glow, radiating heat against the coarse wool of the blanket, Even stirred and drew a sharp breath when the edge rubbed over his nipples. Shit. No. Bad idea. Worst idea ever.

Even looked at the fireplace, at the embers. He remembered the way the light of the fire had danced on Valtersen’s skin. It had been so beautiful, the play of light and shadow, the body working as a canvas for them. That body. Even had dreamt about that body for years, looking at images of a sixteen year old boy and imagining how his body had grown into a man, how he had grown -- Even had been ashamed of himself, of course he had, staring at that young boy on his phone, lying in his bed on his side, his free hand in his underwear. He had been ashamed, but he couldn’t stop.

Now he had seen it. He had seen the body Valtersen’s had developed into. He had been held by that body, and he had felt the strength, the power in it. Even remembered the ease Valtersen had lifted that deer carcass with, the thud it had made, he remembered how smoothly he had pulled Even out of the car. Valtersen was strong. He was beautiful. Even caught himself way too late, he had already wrapped his fingers around his hard pulsing dick. He could never stop after that stage, no matter how much he was ashamed.

He didn’t have his phone now. But he had memorized his favourite picture, the one where Valtersen was at some party, hanging out in the background. He was at a party full of people and yet he was sitting alone, with earbuds in his ears, listening to his own playlist instead of whatever was blasting in the party. He was looking at something off frame, or at someone, and he looked so beautiful. Even tried to remind himself that pictures didn’t age and it wasn’t his fault, that he had been only eighteen himself when he first fell for that image, but still..all these years he had been touching himself looking at a sixteen year old boy. The familiar burn of shame spread at the back of his neck, flushed his cheeks, clawed his chest, as he moved his hand up and down in slow strokes.

Even tried to turn on his side, his back to the room, but that would’ve left his left leg as the bottom one. That seemed like a bad idea. So he stayed on his back, stroking his chest with his free hand, staring into the darkness between him and the ceiling. He saw lights in that darkness, lights traveling along Valtersen’s skin, on his muscles, rippling. Even trailed his chest with his fingers, imagining touching those muscles. He hadn’t touched any man like that. It was a bit much to say he’d been saving himself for Valtersen, but he hadn’t gone with anyone else either. He liked guys as much as girls, but for some reason he’d been with only girls.

And there Valtersen now was. Only a few meters away, behind a curtain, almost naked and asleep. Even had dedicated his life to looking for him and somewhere in the process fallen for him, so bad. Now he had arrived. In his cabin. In the last breaths of the night. Touching himself. He was breathing heavier, biting his finger to keep quiet, moving his hand up and down faster. He imagined Valtersen getting up, holding a candle for some reason, the light flickering and warm. Valtersen walked to his bed and put the candle down, he crawled over on top of Even and kissed him, touched him, he smelled like man and heat and he wanted to do Even, do him hard.

Wait. Had he made a sound? A small whimper, maybe a moan? Even stopped his hand, he held his breath, listening. Nothing. It was silent, apart from his pounding heart, his heavy breath. His dick throbbing hard in his hand. He had to. He just had to. He saw Valtersen’s past face and his current body in his mind, he pulled a pillow on his face to muffle the sounds and started going again. He pressed the pillow against his mouth as he came into his palm.

Now what. He was out of breath, out of his mind, his palm was full of his sperm and he had nowhere to put it. The bucket? No, Valtersen might look into it. He had to. Oh boy. He pulled the pillow off his face and slowly brought his hand to his face. He sniffed it. He had tasted it before, out of curiosity, but never this. Much. Even pushed his tongue out slowly and licked his hand, eyes closed, imagining he was licking Valtersen clean. He lapped it all up, he swallowed, he packed his limp dick into his underwear and drifted back to restless dreams.

Even woke up to a gunshot.

He sat up, his heart racing. Pain made him flinch. The painkillers had worn off, and there was light outside. He had been asleep for hours. And now he was about to die, if not by gunshot then by heart attack. Who had shot the gun? Why?

Even made a little girly scream when Valtersen stepped into the cabin through the door, holding a rifle. He pulled the blanket up to cover his imaginary breasts too, what the hell? Valtersen stopped to stare at him. Even was shaking.

“What..what happened?” Even managed to whisper, finally. Valtersen seemed to have forgotten he was holding an actual working gun and to remember it then. He put it away, by the door.

“The carcass had been ripped. I reminded the beasts who owns this place.”

“You gave me a heart attack!”

“Seems to me you made it through alright.”

Even blushed. He had a feeling that Valtersen had wanted to remind him as well, about his place in all this. He was at his mercy. He should’ve been more scared, but he was mostly ashamed. Embarrassed. Valtersen was dressed again but all Even could think about was his bare body, his skin, his muscles. He was grateful again of his pain, and of his heart attack experience, his morning wood had fallen completely.

Valtersen walked to him. Even knew why. It was time to go to the outhouse again.

“I’m not removing your splinter for this. It’s a cold morning but it’s a short trip, you won’t be harmed.”

Even shivered. It was below zero out there, and a trip in just his undies didn’t feel tempting. But Valtersen could also have just told him to piss in the bucket like a prisoner. The man threw Even’s hoodie on the bed and Even pulled it on. He left the hood on his head, no need for a hat. The walking position was already familiar to them, Even’s arm around Valtersen’s shoulders and his arm around Even’s waist, and off they went. Even hopped, Valtersen supported him, they made their way to the door and outside. The cold hit him like a wall. But Valtersen was warm by his side, and he was getting warmed up by the physical strain, and by the time he was in the outhouse Even was almost sweating again.

“You’re not a vegetarian, are you?” Valtersen asked when he had sat Even down by the dining table. Even rubbed his thighs, they were freezing. Valtersen got the fire going again and the cabin warmed up quickly. Even kept his hood on anyway, he needed the shelter. Shade.

“No. I eat anything.”

“Good.”

Even watched as Valtersen made them breakfast. He made a fire into the stove and put a pot of coffee on. He took a cast iron skillet and put it up to heat. The pantry was under the floor. Valtersen lifted a hatch aside and descended into the hole. He returned with a small basket loaded with a piece of cured meat and eggs and a can of beans. He closed the hatch again, probably a safety measure learned from experience.

“Looks real good”, Even said. He was starving. “I have some rations left in my backpack too, I know you weren’t expecting to be feeding me as well.”

Valtersen cracked the eggs into the pan with one hand. He opened the can of beans and put that on the edge of the stove to heat up as it was. Even licked his lips quickly when Valtersen took a hunting knife and cut thin shards out of the meat on two plates. Then the eggs, then the beans, Even’s stomach was growling as Valtersen put the plate on the table in front of him. Two mugs of black hot coffee, two forks, and Valtersen sat down with him. He pointed at Even’s plate with his fork.

“Eat.”

Even was so happy to oblige. The breakfast was delicious. The coffee was warming him up from the inside, the eggs were absolutely yummy and the meat tasted really interesting. It was good, Even just didn’t recognise it.

“What kind of meat is this?”

“Reindeer.”

“Did you cure it yourself?”

Valtersen nodded.

“And hunted, skinned and cut.”

Valtersen looked Even in the eye when he talked about hunting, skinning and cutting. It made Even shiver. The hair on his thighs stood up. He really would’ve liked some pants, maybe he could cut a leg off his older jeans or something.

“Is that how you live out here? Hunt your own food?”

“I hunt for fun.”

Even stared at the man. Then Valtersen grinned. He had a really, really nice smile, it covered his whole face.

“You should see the look on your face right now, city boy.”

“You weren’t serious?”

“Of course I wasn’t serious! Jesus! Do you think I’m an animal?”

“Animals don’t hunt for fun.”

“Some do. But I’m not one of them. I hunt for food and fur to sell.”

Even stuffed a forkful of eggs in his mouth. So good.

“Do you have chickens?”

Valtersen nodded.

“Most of them don’t make it through the winter. I’ve been planning a heating system for the coop but I have no way of testing it before it’s too late to change much. I’d take them inside the cabin but they shit everywhere.”

Even didn’t know what to think. Valtersen, the murderer, his captor, had chickens. He wanted his chickens to survive the winter. That was so. Adorable?

“I. See.”

“Do you have a name?”

Even blinked. A name. He hadn’t told Valtersen his name? He had taken this long to ask?

“Ev..y. Evy.” It wasn’t a good idea to give your real full name to a murderer, idiot! Evy was a bit too close too, but it was too late.

Valtersen raised his eyebrow.

“Seriously? Evy?”

Even nodded. Yes, yes. Seriously.

“Your parents. Named you Evy. And people let them do that?”

“Rude much?” Even raised his both eyebrows. If he had something, then a strong eyebrow game. Valtersen didn’t stand a chance.

“Whatever.  _ Evy. _ ”

After a silent, mopey breakfast with two painkillers as the dessert Even hopped back into his bed and laid down. He was tired. He had slept poorly and gone through a lot in the last days. He needed to rest. He listened to Valtersen clearing the table and heating up water for the dishes and fell asleep before the scrubbing started.

When Even woke up he saw Valtersen sitting by the table. On the table was all his camera gear. Valtersen didn’t look happy about them.

“What were you planning to shoot?”

Even knew he couldn’t claim he was taking some shots of birds or plants or shit like that. All the memory cards were empty. He swallowed.

“I can explain.”

Valtersen leaned back on his chair.

“I’m listening.”


	5. Chapter 5

Even was in trouble. Well. He had been in trouble for the last 24 hours. But now his trouble had found a new depth. He had absolutely no idea what to tell Valtersen. What wouldn’t get him killed or kicked out to die in the woods alone and injured.

“I. Was planning to shoot um..uhh.” Even was coming up blank. All he could think about were Valtersen’s muscles and how great they would look on film. Even was squirming.

Valtersen rolled his eyes.

“Me. You were looking for me. You’re DetectivE, aren’t you?”

Even couldn’t breathe. He legit could not draw air into his lungs, he was as white as the walls of the cabin and just about to shake. Valtersen knew. How, how the hell could he have known?

Valtersen took some papers from the chair next to him and threw the pile on the table. The pictures. The satellite images supposedly of Valtersen’s house.

“I have sold dozens of these. They keep my chickens fed and my car running.”

Wait a minute. Sold. He had sold. Dozens? What?

“So..you’re..therealisakvaltersen. For. Real?”

Valtersen smirked. He was gorgeous. Even was focusing on completely wrong things.

“My chickens thank you.”

“Uh. Tell them they’re welcome. I guess?”

“Do I look like a man who talks to chickens?”

“I don’t know? Maybe?”

“You paid me a lot of money for these pictures. Are you an idiot?”

Even had no answer for that question. Not any that didn’t sting. In hindsight it had been really foolish, and he knew what that meant. When he made so stupid decisions without even thinking about it.

“Or does it have something to do with these?”

Isak placed Even’s pills on the pictures. The valproate was in its foil packaging and the name of the drug read on it. Shit.

“Do you have any more of these with you?”

Even shook his head. He stared at the floor, at the patterns the wood grains painted on it. They looked like ripples. Maybe he could dive into them and disappear?

“I take it you’re bipolar?”

Even nodded. His head was spinning. He thought about the wall in his apartment, the shrine of Valtersen, and about all his savings spent on this trip, and about the meds he had decided to just drop, just like that, and he felt his cheeks flush hot and red. He was sick. And while he had gotten his life in somewhat of a balance the shame was still there. The stigma.

“Is that why you’re here?”

“No.” Even could barely hear his voice himself. It was so small. Get yourself together, he ordered himself, forced his gaze to rise up and meet Valtersen’s eyes. “I am here because of you. I want an interview. On tape.”

Valtersen leaned a bit back on his chair.

“I suppose not on tips of raising chickens in the middle of nowhere?”

“I want you to tell me the truth. About Emma.”

Saying her name made Valtersen’s shoulders tense up. He clenched his jaw and kicked the chair back with his heels, stood up.

“Do not mention her name to me.”

“Did you kill her?”

“Interview denied.”

Valtersen walked to the door. When he grabbed the gun Even covered his mouth, to his shame. He wasn’t afraid of Valtersen, was he?

Should he have been?

At least Valtersen didn’t notice his reaction. He just opened the door without looking at Even and stepped outside. Even could see him through the window, he walked to the car and got in it.

“Wait!” Even tried to yell but there was no way Valtersen could have heard him. “Don’t leave me here!”

Even attempted to get up. He couldn’t place his foot on the floor without it hurting, and when he stood up it hurt so much he had to fall back down. He was such a fucking wuss! What the hell had he been thinking when he had decided to head out into the woods to find a notorious killer? He had found him now. He was about to be his next victim. He could survive in here for a while, but the nights were getting cold and he had no idea where the well was. He hadn’t seen one in the yard. All Valtersen would have to do was to not come back home and Even would die. The car backed off to the road. Even watched it disappear among the trees.

The medicine cabinet was so far away. Even stared at it, as if he could make the pills crawl out of their packaging and the cabinet, across the floor to him, just by the power of his will mixed with his ever growing desperation. Of course that did not work. As the time passed the pain got gradually worse. From a faint sort of sensation to a gently throbbing dull squeeze, and he knew that it would not get easier by waiting. He had no idea where Valtersen had gone or when he might return. He would have to man up.

Even decided to try the crawling method. He placed the blanket on the floor, then slid out of the bed down onto it. It took him about ten minutes, the toughest part was to figure out how to get his leg down from the bed without it hurting too much. He couldn’t come up with anything that worked, so he finally decided to just take it. He pulled his leg down, next to his other leg, and was happy that nobody was around to hear his scream. He was not used to physical pain. Not like this.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He wiped the tears off his face. He took deep gulping breaths and just laid there for a moment, waiting. Finally the pain settled back into the familiar level of somewhere between minor nuisance and general discomfort and Even could try to move again. He didn’t attempt getting up. He pulled his sock off and stuck his bare heel on the floor. He used it as a support point to drag himself around, his head now pointing to the door, and pushed at the bed and the floor to slide the blanket across the floor. When he couldn’t reach the bed anymore he pushed just with his heel, dragged with his hands, and slowly he made his way to the table and chairs around it.

Then he had to take a breather. He was sweating, panting, he hadn’t been exercising properly in a long time. Too immersed in his studies and research on the Valtersen case to actually go anywhere and do anything, he just sat at his computer all day and night. Now he got to pay the price. But after a short rest he kept going again. He struggled and pushed and pulled himself up to the chair. Good. He was upright. And sitting down. Progress.

He gathered the pills on his palm and threw them in his mouth. He swallowed them dry. He could almost hear them rattle down his throat. The final dose. After this, he’d probably just lose it.

To be honest, that might have begun already. Like, weeks ago.

Okay. Time to focus. His pain was getting worse, and this moving around business didn’t help with it at all. He needed the painkillers. From the medicine cabinet. Only like three steps away from where he was sitting. He could do this. He had to do this. Even bit his teeth tightly together, pulled his healthy leg in a better position and then pushed his whole weight up with it.

“Sweet jesus fuck!”

He was panting. He was vaguely aware that his pain was not as bad as it felt, not as bad as it seemed to him, but Valtersen had left him in a state of distress and abandonment. And that made his pain seem worse than it actually was. It hurt, yes, but he could do this. He just didn’t want to. He wanted Valtersen to come back and help him. He wanted Valtersen.

What? No!

Well, yes.

But now was not the time to think about that. Focus, Even! He looked up at the wall, at the medicine cabinet. There was his goal. Okay. He used the chair as an impromptu walker and dragged himself to the wall. He pulled the boxes out of the cabinet and sat down on the chair cradling them against his chest.

He took one each. They had to last.

After swallowing the pills he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. He was exhausted. He was in pain. Drained. He had to let the painkillers kick in before he could move again. He needed water. Some food. These fucking pills. He could gather stuff on the blanket and pull it with him to the bed. Use the chair for support. Even reached over to the brick wall of the fireplace and tried it with the back of his hand. It was still warm, but cooling down. He needed to make a fire. How did one do that?

Even pushed the chair in front of the fireplace and sat down. His pain has subdued to that mild discomfort level again and he could focus on the task at hand. He opened the hatches. There were still some embers, covered by gray ash. He took the poker and tapped at the glowy bits. That didn’t magically create fire. He wasn’t surprised, but a bit disappointed, yes.

He poked again, harder. A spark flew up and got sucked into the chimney, snuffing out on its way. How depressing. Lucky for him there were some dry logs on a rack by the fireplace. Even took one and kind of threw it in. Big mistake. It created a cloud of ash and sparks. He pulled his arms up to cover his face and was happy he didn’t burn himself or something, but he had made a huge mess. Ash on the floor, all over his sleeves, on his bare legs. Crap. Valtersen would be so pissed.

At least the log caught fire! It was bone dry and had some curls of bark on it, they were alight and the wood followed soon after. Even let it catch fire real well and then added two more. And then two more. He wanted the heat to last. He filled the fireplace with the wood and had only a couple of logs left in the rack when he closed the hatches. He was feeling very warm, but it was half strain.

By the time Even was back in the bed he was dripping with sweat. The fire was blazing and the cabin was getting hot, and his supply run had exhausted him. He had to take off his hoodie. The ash mixed with the sweat and he left black sooty fingerprints and streaks all over his skin. He ran his fingers through his hair and found more ash. He made more stains trying to wipe it off his fingers. Whatever. He didn’t care. He opened a bottle of water he had filled up from the bucket and drank half of it in one go. He ate an oat bar from his rations and emptied the water bottle. Then he laid down, completely drained, covered in black stains and in his underwear.

He woke up when headlights brushed across the room. It was near dark already. Even sat up to look out the window. The light turned on. He could see Valtersen, and the truck, and his rental car in tow. Valtersen had gone to pick it up. Why? He also had a huge backpack of something with him, he dragged it to the door. Even couldn’t take his eyes off of him, his dark and dangerous form approaching the door, approaching him.

“What the..what have you done?” Valtersen did not sound pleased. No wonder. The cabin was basically a furnace and covered in ash and soot, just like Even. A hot mess. Even stared at him.

“You came back.” He came back. He hadn’t left Even here to die. He was so happy.

He was so frightened. His heart was pounding, he was sweating, oh god he was practically naked. Valtersen walked to the bed. He put the backpack on the floor next to it. He opened it and Even heard plastic wrapping crackle when he rummaged in there.

Valtersen placed a roll of toilet paper on the lid of the bucket.

Even stared at it. Then he looked at Valtersen. Was he holding back a grin? Were his eyes sparkling just a bit or was it just the low light doing its tricks?

“I’m going to check on the chickens. I will take my time.”

That was definitely a smirk. But Even had barely noticed it when it was gone, Valtersen had turned his back to him and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like forever since I last posted. It's been two days.
> 
> I've been updating like crazy since the last breaths of 2017. Daily, mostly. I'm not tired of that yet, but I am, right now, going through some major changes within myself and my identity. I've reached a point where I don't want to do Isak, or Even, as much as I want to be them. This realization is taking its toll on me, my spoon count (if you're unfamiliar with the spoon theory, google it please) and my writing habits.
> 
> I know you guys are waiting for updates, and I love it. I feel popular! I love feeling popular! And I might keep up with the pace still. I just want to establish that 1) I'm at least partly a gay boy and 2) while I love this fanfic writing thing, I may not be able to do it as much as I have done this far, because it's just a tad more personal right now.
> 
> That being said, in general I am in a good place and steadily moving towards an even better one. And I missed you all during these two days! ZERO CHILL.


	6. Chapter 6

The cabin was so hot. Sweat was dripping down Even’s chest, striping the black sooty stains with pale skin. They traveled over his disappointingly unprominent abs and got sucked in the waistband of his underwear. Even looked at the roll of toilet paper. He licked his lips slowly. They tasted like salt and ash.

He would have been lying if he had claimed he hadn’t considered it. But he had spent too much time considering. Valtersen had said he’d be gone for a while but now the risk of him returning before Even had finished his..business was too big. He sighed and brushed his fingers over his half hard bulge.

“Fuck!”

Even stared at the black fingerprints. Right on his dick. There was no way Valtersen wouldn’t notice them. He was busted for something he hadn’t even done. He ran quickly his list of options through his head. One, own it. Two, do it. Three, remove underwear and don’t touch dick.

He had no idea why he chose option number three. Especially when it was so hard to wiggle them past his diy splinter. He managed to get them off and realized that part of his brain, probably half cooked from the heat, had just assumed he’d put on a fresh pair. But he couldn’t reach his bag and there was no way in hell he’d be able to get them past the splinter the other way.

Of course Valtersen chose that exact moment to return. The underwear situation wouldn’t have been any better later, but maybe Even would have come up with an explanation or something. Anything. But there he now stood, at the door, staring at the naked man on his couch bed.

Even tried to think fast. Big mistake. He stroked at his chest with his hand to show Valtersen that he left black marks on everything he touched, and of course he managed to pass his nipple and it tightened up eagerly, making him draw a sharp little breath. Fuck. Fffffuuuuck. This was going so terribly wrong in all possible ways.

“I usually have better problem solving skills.”

_ What _ was that supposed to mean?

“Uh...huh. I sure hope so.”

Valtersen looked at him. He didn’t cover himself. Why didn’t he cover himself?

“Wrap yourself in the blanket. It’s cold outside.”

Outside? Why were they going outside? He was naked! Then again a visit to the outhouse would be welcome right about now. So Even didn’t object. He just obeyed. He wrapped the blanket around himself and let Valtersen put his shoes on his feet.

“Fucking hot”, Valtersen muttered. He sounded so grumpy that it took Even only two seconds to realize he was talking about the cabin, not him. Of course. Still he blushed.

“I’m sorry. I thought you wouldn’t come back.”

“So you decided to burn down my cabin?”

“What?” Even stared at Valtersen eyes wide. Burn down the cabin? With him inside it, with his busted leg?

“The roof can catch fire if the chimney gets too hot, you know.”

Even made a sound. It was maybe a beep, or a meep, or something like that. Valtersen chuckled.

“Got ya.”

“Whaaaat?”

“A working, cleaned chimney will not catch fire. Or burn the roof. I keep my chimney clean, don’t worry.”

Even blushed. He was naked and blushing and very, very aware of Valtersen watching him and smiling. Well. Smirking. Even was certain that was the closest to a smile he could muster.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“Go where?” Even sounded ridiculous. Small.

“First to the outhouse. Then, to the sauna. We’re sleeping there tonight, it’s way too hot in here.”

Sauna. Valtersen had a sauna. Of course he did, he had no running water in here.

“It’s been forever since I was in a sauna.”

“I’m positive mine’s better than any sauna you’ve ever experienced.”

Valtersen was done with talking. He helped Even up and outside. It was cold. Even was covered in sweat and the heat escaping the cabin made the air wave and ripple around them. The trees were dancing. Valtersen left the door cracked and led Even to the outhouse. Their breaths turned into clouds and mixed together in the air.

Even saw a building behind the cabin. He hadn’t noticed it before, but no wonder. He had been rather preoccupied with everything else going on, and the yard lights didn’t quite reach it. Now there was a lantern hanging from a hook by the door. It looked really cozy and inviting. Romantic, almost.

The romance was shattered in the outhouse. Valtersen waited for him outside and Even was very awkwardly aware that he heard everything that was going on. But he didn’t seem to mind. People with outhouses probably rarely did. Even cleaned his hands with baby wipes and hand sanitizer and pushed the door open. It was getting cold under his blanket. Valtersen felt so warm against him.

The sauna had a small porch and a single step in front of the door. The painkillers were still kicking and Even managed to get up that step with relative ease. Valtersen opened the door and the warm air wrapped Even in its embrace. Sweet, sweet warmth. The air smelled warm, too, like wood and smoke. Candles and matches. Valtersen grabbed the lantern and brought it inside with him. The room was small. On one end there was a bench and a rack for clothes, on the other a washing area with soap and shampoo and a big round plastic tub. It was big enough that Valtersen could probably bathe in it. It was half full of water.

On the same side with the washing spot was a wooden door. Even could hear fire crackle and hum behind it. He was shivering a bit and eager to get inside, into the warmth, but then Valtersen started to undress. Just like that. He took his jacket off and unbuttoned his plaited shirt. Even drooled  a puddle on the floor staring at his muscles. Muscles built by hard work, not bulked up with supplements and a gym regime. He was hotter than the cabin.

Valtersen didn’t stop undressing until he was completely naked. Even stared at the soft golden fuzz on his legs, at the meat on his thighs, his round, tight buttocks. He wasn’t drooling anymore. His mouth was completely parched. He was still staring at Valtersen’s ass when he suddenly turned around and Even realized he was looking directly at his dick. It wasn’t hard. It looked almost adorable, vulnerable. So soft and pretty. Delicious.

Valtersen walked past Even to the wooden door and pulled it open. The fire was burning in the stove behind the hatches. The orange glow flickering from the edges was the only source of light. The wooden benches were on two levels, and a small stepladder led up to them.

“Bottom bench for you. You should be able to reach it from the floor. Just sit down and scoot over to the steps so you can rest your good foot there.”

Even threw his blanket on the bench under Valtersen’s clothes. He was naked. Scrawny and clunky, far from Valtersen’s hunkiness. When Valtersen helped him into the sauna their skins were in so much contact that Even’s head was spinning. He was happy about two things: sitting down and the darkness.

Valtersen climbed up on the top bench and then Even scooted over to the steps. When Valtersen took some water on a ladle from the bucket next to his legs and threw it on the rocks of the stove the sudden hiss almost startled Even. Then the heat struck. It felt intense, and soft, and just the right amount of hot. It made Even’s tense muscles relax, his blood flow, his mind calm down.

They sat in silence for a long time. The stove hissed with every ladle of water Valtersen threw on it, and the heat got momentarily more intense and then settled down slowly, until more water made it rise again. Even was relaxed. He was sweating and hot, but still relaxed.

That changed very quickly when he heard Valtersen move behind him. When he felt his legs on both sides of his body and his hands on his shoulders.

“You’re so tense”, Valtersen said, low and husky. He traced and rubbed Even’s shoulders with his hands, his strong, strong hands. Even couldn’t breathe, he was scared he’d pass out from the heat and un-breathing and topple over head first into the stove. But the true panic didn’t strike until he felt something brush between his shoulder blades.

It was a dick. A hard one. So hard. Almost as hard as Even’s own got when he realized what was happening. Oh god.

“What are you --”

“You don’t like it? If you don’t like it I’m eating that deer carcass whole, skin and bones and antlers.”

Even blushed and giggled. Giggled? He tried to figure out what to say, but came up totally blank. All he could think about was Valtersen’s body and his hands and his delicious dick hard against his skin. Fuck. Valtersen took silence as a yes and kept massaging Even’s shoulders that showed no signs of relaxing.

“It’s hot”, Even finally managed to say. “In here. Too hot.”

“Can’t take the heat, city boy?” Valtersen sounded amused. He was in a good mood. Even could feel between his shoulder blades how good exactly.

“I think I’ll pass out soon.”

Valtersen stopped teasing him. He stopped massaging Even too, and waited for him to scoot over from blocking the steps. Even was still grateful for the darkness as Valtersen descended, so close to him, god, for a moment his dick must have been right in front of Even’s face.

Even felt a body press against his. He was just about to get up, to lean on Valtersen, when he felt lips press against his lips too. It wasn’t a shy kiss, or a nice-to-meet-you one, no, it was hard and strong and demanding. Hungry. Even grabbed the man’s shoulders and returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm. His head was spinning again and he was so happy to be still sitting down.

It was dark. It was hot. The fire kept humming and sweat covered their skins, dripped on the bench and the floor, mixed together like their saliva was mixing. When Valtersen finally stepped back Even leaned over after him, needy for more, not remembering to be ashamed of his desperation.

“It is getting hot in here. Let’s go scrub you clean.”

Hell yes.


	7. Chapter 7

Valtersen left the sauna door open. When he had helped Even sit down on a wooden stool he grabbed a bucket and returned in the heat. He came back with a bucket full of steaming water and closed the door behind him. Even stared openly at his hard dick. It had been a while, all his time had been consumed by his Valtersen-obsession and there he now was, beautiful and hard in front of Even. This must have been a dream.

“Watch it. It’s near boiling.”

Even moved his leg so it was a bit further away from the tub. Valtersen emptied the bucket in it, gave it a mix with a ladle and tried it with the back of his hand. He nodded.

“Close your eyes.”

Even hesitated. But he closed his eyes and waited. For a time that felt to stretch into at least a minute. Valtersen was probably watching him. Even hoped he was. He rested his hands on his knees, so he wasn’t covering his erection. He let Valtersen look at it. This wasn’t the first time he saw it. Was this the first time he was hard himself? Even had no way of knowing.

He felt a trickle on his head. Just a tiny stream first, and slowly growing. It was warm, very pleasant, it ran down his face and hair on his shoulders, back, chest. It was a new sensation, unfamiliar, Even had lived his whole life with quick and easy access to running water. And electricity. And phone signal. This life, far from everything and out of reach of modern amenities was both strange and exciting to him. At least for now. The novelty would probably wear off soon.

When Valtersen had poured the whole ladle of water on him Even kept his eyes closed. He waited. He heard a squirt, and when Valtersen pushed his hands in Even’s hair they felt slick. Even could smell shampoo. Unscented. He used the same brand at home.

Valtersen’s hands were so strong and so gentle at the same time. He rubbed the shampoo into Even’s hair. Even could have done it himself, his leg was injured, not his hands, but this felt so nice he let Valtersen do it. He sat still and enjoyed the touches, and he couldn’t help but imagine those hands roaming on his body, demanding, grasping, clawing. He was breathing heavier now.

Even had never had his hair washed this thoroughly before. His own method was just kind of lather shampoo more or less all over and then rinse it off. Quick and efficient. Valtersen took his time. He gave Even’s scalp a nice massage while he was at it, and when his hands pulled away Even’s shoulders were finally relaxed.

“Keep them closed. I think I didn’t get any in your eyes but it’s better to be sure than have to waste water.”

Another squirt. A scrubby sound. The coarseness of the loofah raised Even’s skin to goosebumps. The soap was also unscented, it smelled just clean, and Valtersen’s strong hands were a bit less gentle now. A good scrubbing was exactly what Even needed and he received it with pleasure. Valtersen ran his hands along Even’s back, down his chest, he traced Even’s thighs with his palms. He was extra careful with his injured leg and it didn’t hurt once.

The fire cracked. Outside the cabin it was silent, so silent. Sitting there, with his eyes closed and Valtersen’s hands drawing his borders, defining him. It had been forever since Even had felt he was this whole. He reached his hand forward and when he found Valtersen’s thigh he rested his palm on it. Just rested. Felt him, his presence, right there. He let the moment stretch again.

Moments pass. Isak pulled his hands away and the splashing of water was the only warning Even got before it was poured over him with a bucket. Valtersen rustled Even’s hair as he was rinsing it to get rid of all the shampoo. Two bucketfuls were all he needed and Even was clean. Almost.

Even rubbed his face and opened his eyes. The calm gentleness of Valtersen was gone. His jawline was tighter, and there was a small frowny wrinkle between his eyebrows. His shoulders were tense. He was holding something back, or away.

“You can clean your dick yourself, right?”

Even nodded. He could. And while Valtersen washed his own hair he did. He was done before Valtersen and while he was waiting whatever it was that would happen next he let his eyes wander. Mostly they wandered along naked Valtersen, but some details in the room caught his eye as well. Like the pale yellow porcelain soap holder on the windowsill, next to an ashtray. They looked like they had been used interchangeably a long time ago and then forgotten about. A spider had spun its web between them. Even could see the steam stuck in it.

“Hello? Are you still with me?”

Even blinked. He turned to look at Valtersen. He was holding a towel.

“Sorry?”

“I asked you if you want to go back in or are you done.”

Even looked at the towel. Valtersen was done, right? Even was so fucking ready to crawl into bed with him, to kiss him and touch him and let Valtersen touch him, absolutely everywhere. He shifted a bit on his seat, impatient.

“I’m good, thanks. Much better now.”

Valtersen nodded. He threw the towel at Even and opened the wooden door behind him.

“I’ll have another round. If you need anything just call my name.”

Valtersen closed the door. Even stared at it. He was wet and alone and suddenly a bit cold. He wrapped the towel around his shoulders and shivered. There was a lump in his throat and he didn’t know why. He was disappointed. In what? Valtersen? The man owed him nothing. Yet with him behind just one door made Even feel devastatingly lonely. Abandoned. Again. Valtersen did that a lot to him, didn’t he?

And he came back every time.

Even took a deep breath. It was okay. Valtersen was right there. The sauna didn’t have any other doors or windows and while the fire was burning he would not climb out through the chimney either. Even had to just wait.

He waited. He listened to the stove hiss. It was the only sound coming from there. Valtersen was quiet. He had lived alone in here for years. It was unreasonable for Even to expect him to be hospitable. Or decent. He was who he was, mysterious and aloof and grumpy.

A potential murderer.

Even had actually forgotten about that for a moment there. Ever since Valtersen had taken off and left Even in a panicked attempt to fend for himself, Even had forgotten about Emma. Completely. All he had cared and thought about was that Valtersen didn’t seem to like him that much and he really, really wanted him to.

That was just crazy. Insane. Maybe dropping off his meds wasn’t a good idea after all. But, Even reminded himself, this had started while he was  _ on _ the medication. This was at least half him, his own madness and obsession. His episode.

Fuck. Admitting it, saying the word now, even if only in his head, made it really hit home. He was having an episode. And he knew he should have cared more about it than he did, but he didn’t. He had much more pressing matters to care of. Like if Valtersen was still hard or not. Even heard movement from just behind the door and turned to look at it. He was about to find out.


	8. Chapter 8

Even stared intently at the height where he calculated Valtersen’s dick would be when he exited the sauna. He both was and wasn’t disappointed. He had estimated the location correctly, but the state - not. It wasn’t hard anymore. Even kind of deflated himself too.

He watched Valtersen rinse himself off. The water ran down his muscular chest in tiny streams, down the pecs and the abs and the v-line, Even followed it all the way down to the golden curly hair. Suddenly Valtersen stepped up to him and grabbed his chin. Hard. Even felt his fingertips press into the bone. It made him whimper softly. And hard, again.

“Now you listen, you little bitch”, Valtersen hissed. Half growled. “I don’t know who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing into my life with your cameras and your seduction but I. Do. Not. Want. You. Here.”

Valtersen squeezed tighter with every emphasis. Then he pushed Even away, sneering at him. Disgusted.

“Do you understand?”

Even rubbed at his jaw. Now that his head wasn’t full of pheromones and hormones he had time to notice his leg was starting to hurt soon as well. Valtersen grabbed his hair in his fist and squeezed. Even was panting.

“Do you understand?!”

“Yes!” Even grabbed Valtersen’s arm. He wasn’t sure if it was to pull his hand away or to keep it there. “I understand!”

Valtersen released his grip. Even did not. Well, now he knew his goal, at least. They stood there, still, for a long time. In the near dark washing room, in the flickering light of a flame, Valtersen glistening and naked and Even curled up inside his towel.

“I want you”, Even heard himself say. He was kind of horrified about that, but it was too late now. “Don’t you want me?”

“No”, Valtersen replied, but too quickly and too avertedly. He was frowning, and glaring at something in the dark window. Even released his grip but kept is hand there. Valtersen could have pulled his arm away but he didn’t.

“Liar. I was involved in that kiss earlier, I know.”

“You don’t know anything!” Valtersen yanked his arm back. “That’s the issue here! Fuck! You know absolutely  _ nothing _ and you don’t even care to know. You just want a story and some dick.”

Even couldn’t counter that argument. Because it was true, in most parts. He did want to know, but otherwise, spot on.

“What do you want, then?”

That caught Valtersen off guard. Yesss. Valtersen blinked, confused, then his face retreated to the resting perma-frown.

“I want to live my life in peace.”

Even looked around. Well. It was obvious what the disruption here was, wasn’t it?

“You could have just called an ambulance you know. Why did you drag me here?”

“I panicked, okay? You recognised me. I can’t have nosey little wannabe reporters crawling around here all the time.”

“If that’s the case you really should reconsider selling those pictures to people like me.”

“Trust me, I have  _ never _ met a person like you.”

The silence fell over them once more. In the middle of it Even felt his leg start to ache. Just a tiny bit, but he knew it would not get better by waiting it out.

“I need painkillers. Please.”

Valtersen rolled his eyes. But he pulled his boots on and headed outside. Naked. In the cold. Without a lantern. Well, this was his home. Of course he knew his way around. This time Even was fairly positive Valtersen was going to return, but he still could not be sure. He had more clothes in the cabin, didn’t he?

Even closed his eyes. He was shivering. He wasn’t actually cold, but he was sad, and miserable and rejected. This building had only one bed. Maybe Valtersen would make him sleep in the tub or in the sauna. As long as he’d be medicated he didn’t really care.

Valtersen returned. He had a sleeping bag with him. Fair enough. Even just hoped he wouldn’t be made to sleep outside in it.

“Here.”

Even was given a bottle of water and two pills. He took them dry just to piss Valtersen off. It wasn’t successful. And he was thirsty. So he cracked the bottle open anyway.

“Thank you.”

“I’ve purchased you some meds. But it will be delivered to the town in a few days. Until then you’ll just have to be without them. Don’t go psychotic and try to kill me, you hear? I don’t want to have to kill you first.”

Even had to bite his tongue so he didn’t make a remark about Valtersen and killing. He was manic, not suicidal. At least for now.

“Thank you. For getting me my meds.” Even wasn’t stupid, he didn’t have to ask why Valtersen didn’t just use his prescription. That would give a signal on Even’s location. People might be looking for him. Most likely not, but Valtersen did not know that.

“I’m keeping your camera as payment.”

“What? I have just bought that thing!”

Valtersen shrugged.

“It covers the housing and food as well. And nurse service.”

Even wanted to object. He didn’t know how. He might come up with something later, but now he just wanted to rest. So he nodded. And yawned, long and wide.

Valtersen took the hint. He pulled the bench open and it turned into a bed and a half. They’d fit in there just nicely. Under the bench was a chest and Valtersen took a blanket and a pillow from there. He folded Even’s blanket into another pillow and helped Even lie down on the bed. Valtersen took the lantern by the bed and then cocooned into the sleeping back. He turned the lantern off and it got really, really dark.

Even couldn’t see anything. But that only meant he could hear, smell, taste, feel, all so much stronger and more vivid. He heard Valtersen breathe. He felt him move. He smelled his skin, all scrubbed clean, at the nape of his neck. This made no sense to him. The cabin could have been cooled down by opening the door and some windows, right? Valtersen had wanted to bring him here. What for?

Had he changed his mind?

Even was about to find out. He didn’t touch Valtersen, that would have been too bold, but he did slip his hand under his blanket. He stroked lightly on his chest. He let his breathing get heavy and irregular, he let his body move the slightest bit, like a ripple. Like a sigh.

“Stop that”, Valtersen mumbled. Even pretended he didn’t hear him. He slid his hand lover, over his stomach, to his once again hard dick. He really could use some, thanks for asking, mister Valtersen. He wrapped his fingers around it and bent his wrist, just a little. A slow stroke, only one, but enough to make him sigh again. Oh yes.

Valtersen grabbed his wrist through the sleeping bag and the blanket. Impressive grip. Even looked in his general direction but it was so, so dark.

“I said, stop that.”

“Well, you wouldn’t do it for me, so I decided to help myself.”

Silence. Once again. Heavy, dark silence.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! The sex is here!
> 
> Any treats for the needy author are appreciated. <3 Just leave them under the chapter.

Isak didn’t let go.

“Are you seriously telling me that you’re just going to go ahead and harass me until I give in?”

“I’m not harassing you! I’m. Um. Advertising?”

Even could almost hear Valtersen roll his eyes.

“You are pushing yourself to me despite me saying no. Multiple times. Would you take me by force if you could?”

Even sat up. The sting of pain in his leg disagreed with that move.

“What?! Of course not!”

“Then stop trying to force me into having sex with you.”

Even didn’t understand. He hadn’t forced anything. He was just expressing his keen interest, maybe a bit blunt but still. No forcing.

“I haven’t touched you once.”

Isak scoffed.

“So. You jerking off inches away from me is not, like, at all similar to having sex with me? I just happen to be present, is that it?”

Even tried to think of a counterargument. He couldn’t make one, at least not one that wouldn’t make him seem like a dick. He did not like to think of himself as one.

“Go ahead”, Valtersen said. “Say it. Humor me.”

“I have nothing to say”, Even mumbled. Valtersen laughed, sharp, dry.

“Oh, I bet you do. Let me guess. ‘Don’t you think I’m hot?’ Yes, I do, you’re insanely hot. I’m going to say no anyway, thanks.”

Even felt his cheeks glow hot and red. Valtersen thought he was insanely hot.

“Or how about ‘When was the last time you had sex with anyone?’, then? About a year, maybe? I didn’t mark the date down or anything. Not interested in breaking that streak tonight.”

Even tried to imagine not having sex for over a year. Sure, when he was having a depressive episode he lost all interest in sex too, but they never lasted longer than a couple of months at a time. And when he was manic. Uhm. Yeah. He bit his lip, slowly. Ashamed.

“Then there’s the good old ‘But you are flirting with me and kissing me and everything!’ but I don’t have to tell you that I get to change my mind even at the point of your dick being inside me, do I?”

Okay, that was a hard one to wrap his mind around. His dick inside Valtersen was the hard part, in so many senses. But he was also right. It stung, it really stung, but Even had to admit he was being a real dick here.

“So you’re a bottom, then?”

_ What? _

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Valtersen got out of the bed. He pulled his boots on in the darkness, opened the door and slammed closed it behind him so hard he made an empty bucket fall over.

Well put, Valtersen.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Even woke up cold, alone and in pain. There was a battery operated lantern on a small wooden stool by the bed, along with a fresh bottle of water, a sandwich and two painkillers. Valtersen had been here while he had slept. There was also the bucket within his reach, and on its lid stood a roll of toilet paper and a tube of hand lotion. That made him blush. And smile, just a bit. Valtersen was pissed, but didn’t seem to hate him.

He really didn’t want to take a dump in that bucket. It seemed fiddly and dangerous, and the smell would not be held by that lid, he was certain of it. And if he managed to topple the whole thing over, possibly all over himself? No thanks.

There was light outside. Even stretched his neck to see out the window. The outhouse was not that far away. He took the pills with some water and laid back down to wait for them to kick in. He had been sweating so much last night that his bladder situation was tolerable. He could wait for a while.

The sheets smelled like Valtersen. Everything here smelled like him, his soap, the smell of smoke and wood, the faint scent of forest. Or maybe Valtersen smelled like his sauna? Even closed his eyes, breathing it in slowly. He smelled so nice. Strong. Like someone who could protect him, and with his meds out and his leg injured he really felt like having someone to protect him would be very nice.

And he was so muscular too. God. Even kept his eyes closed and looked back into last night, he saw Valtersen bathing after the sauna, how the soapy suds and light of the flame caressed his skin. He was so hot. He thought Even was hot too, and if Even hadn’t been the idiot he was they’d probably be doing it right now in the cabin. Shit.

Even tried to move his foot. It didn’t hurt. Good. He opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He didn’t have his clothes. He had the blanket. He wrapped it around himself as best as he could and dragged himself to the door. He pushed it open. It wasn’t locked, good.

“Valtersen! A little help?”

No answer. The car was here but maybe Valtersen didn’t hear him in the cabin. Maybe he was checking on his chickens. Maybe he did hear him but was ignoring it. Whatever the reason, Even was on his own. The outhouse didn’t seem to be far away, but it sure was far enough.

Even was practically naked, but still sweaty when he reached the outhouse. He was so grateful for the break, being able to sit down, but he was getting cold fast when he wasn’t moving. He should get back to the sauna. The sandwich was calling his name. Why hadn’t he eaten it before he left? Well, a bait to tempt him to return was a nice thing to have around.

“Valtersen!” Even called for him again, closer to the cabin. No answer. Fine. He would fend for himself then. Even wrapped the blanket tighter around his naked body and stepped outside.

Even opened his eyes. He had made it about six or seven steps forward and then he had fallen. His head was spinning, he was nauseous. He must have bumped his head. He was seeing spots and wanted to throw up, but he couldn’t raise his head to do so. He heard running steps and then he saw Valtersen’s feet.

“Are you actively trying to kill yourself?”

That was Valtersen asking if he was okay, Even thought. He groaned.

“I fell over.”

“Shit, your leg.”

Valtersen did something with Even’s leg that made him scream in pain. Then he grabbed Even’s chin.

“Move your foot.”

“I don’t want  to”, Even whimpered. Valtersen squeezed harder.

“Do it! Now!”

Even obeyed. He moved his foot, back and forth, despite the pain. Valtersen sighed, relieved.

“It’s not broken. You just bumped it.”

“I can’t get up. I’m so cold.” Even was just miserable. Cold, in pain, helpless, hungry and increasingly horny. There was something about this setting, him naked and helpless on the ground at Valtersen’s mercy, that really stirred something inside him. He was near panting.

He was light headed. His heart was beating so fast, and when Valtersen guided his body into a position where he could pick him up on his arms Even near fainted again. When Valtersen actually picked him up and carried him to the cabin Even forgot he was in pain. He was high.

Valtersen carried him inside and into his own bed. It was higher up than the one Even had for himself. The cabin was warm, but Even was shaking. He was cold.

“Let’s warm you up”, Valtersen muttered. He wrapped Even in his own blanket and went to boil some water.

Even laid still, bundled up. He was still shaking. Part of it must have been shock. He could have died. His head was throbbing. He had hit it somewhere and hitting your head could be very dangerous. Maybe he was dying right now? His heart was racing, he was suddenly hot and cold at the same time, the blankets were strangling him and he couldn’t breathe. He struggled to get free from them.

Valtersen returned to him. He looked  worried. Did he think Even was dying, too?

“What is it?”

“I don’t know”, Even gasped. He was still struggling with the blankets. “I can’t breathe.”

Valtersen laid down by him. He wrapped his arms around Even and pulled him close to him. Even could feel his muscles against himself. Valtersen was so strong.

“It’s okay”, Valtersen mumbled. His beard tickled Even’s face. “I’ve got you.”

For some reason Even believed him. First he stopped struggling. Then, gradually, he stopped shaking. Valtersen was so warm. He got him. He held Even for a long time after the shaking was gone.

Even lifted his face just a bit.

Valtersen turned his.

Even had no idea who kissed first. But they kissed. He let Valtersen take the kiss over very quickly, embracing his new found enjoyment in the position of the one being rescued. He received his lips, his beard, his strong embrace, all with pleasure.

Valtersen slipped his hand under the blanket. Even stopped breathing.

“Does it hurt?” Valtersen’s voice was low and dark. Even shook his head.

“No”, he gasped. “Please, don’t stop.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

He was a man of his word. Valtersen slid his hand along Even’s skin, down his chest and stomach, all the way down. All. The. Way. Even grabbed his shoulders when he took his hard pulsing dick in his hand. Even looked at his face, carefully, they were so close to his. Valtersen looked focused. Determined. So, so hot.

Valtersen started moving his hand. Even was shaking again. He didn’t do anything, he just received and surrendered, to the dangerous woodsman and his strong hand. Just watched at his handsome face, how he took the edge of his bottom lip between just the tips of his teeth, how he was breathing heavier, how his eyes kind of glazed over as he focused on seeing with his fingers. He was so hot. He had been beautiful as a teenager but now, all grown up, he had this raw sex appeal that Even was absolutely powerless against.

He came way, way too soon. He was so scared that after he had come Valtersen would get up, wipe his hands like he had just finished a chore, and get back to whatever it was he was doing when Even had interrupted him by almost dying. Valtersen let go of his softening dick. He wiped his hand on the blanket and pulled it out.

He took Even gently by the chin and pressed his thumb lightly on his lips. Even had barely caught his breath after his orgasm and now he couldn’t breathe again.

“Months and months of peace. And  _ quiet. _ How about you put your mouth to better use, city boy?”

Even heard it. The hint of hesitation in Valtersen’s voice. His armour was, for now, intact, but inside it there was something that needed the protection of this tough exterior. He was worried that Even might actually say no.

Lucky for him, Even was way too slutty for that. His mouth was watering already. He nodded and parted his lips. Yessir.

Valtersen got up. He opened his pants and took his dick out, then knelt down by Even’s head. He sat on his heels and offered his beautiful, rock hard dick for Even. Even gathered all the pillows under his head for height and support and opened his mouth fully.

When he tasted the tip of Valtersen’s dick sliding along his tongue he moaned. Valtersen responded by pushing deeper, to block his noisy mouth. Even closed his eyes and took it. He closed his lips around the dick and sucked on it. Valtersen just sat there. He didn’t move, he didn’t make a sound. The only thing that hinted Even he enjoyed what he was doing was his breathing getting heavier. He was breathing through his nose.

Valtersen placed his hand in Even’s hair. Even made a small enthusiastic sound, and when Valtersen also grabbed his hair he was practically drooling. He was Valtersen’s prisoner, at his use, however he pleased, and that turned him on so, so much. He had just come in Valtersen’s hand and he was already hard again.

“Touch yourself.”

Even did. His hand rushed under the blanket and grabbed his dick. He kept sucking Valtersen off too, with all his skill. He had had a lot of practice. He loved sucking dick, he had the lips for it and when he opened his eyes and flashed the perfect, big, doe-eyed look from the man’s crotch -- it drove them wild. He looked up at Valtersen.

“Fuck!”

Valtersen thrusted hard into Even’s mouth a couple of times. His tip was poking at the back of his mouth, rather rudely, but since he came a second later Even was willing to let it slide. He moved his own hand faster, harder, but he wasn’t close enough yet. When Valtersen slid out of his mouth it felt so empty.

Valtersen just sat there, still. He looked at Even as he kept touching himself, and there was a dark green fire in his eyes. Even felt so bare under his gaze. There was a blanket between them but it felt like nothing. His dick was pulsing again, throbbing, he was getting close and he made tiny little moans he tried to stop in vain.

Even came at the exact moment that Valtersen pressed his palm on his mouth. He half screamed into it, Valtersen pressed harder, and when Even collapsed on the bed and Valtersen pulled his hand back Even saw the crescent marks of his teeth imprinted on it.

“Sleep.”

Even drifted off before Valtersen had stood up all the way.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back! I'm back? I don't know. I do try, but I'm busy and exhausted a lot.
> 
> Writing fics brings me immense joy, and is something I prefer doing, but I am tired and have to pace myself to stay healthy. I seriously wrote this chapter for three days. It used to be a three hour job! It's not, at the moment.
> 
> I also have like 20k of a Big Bang fic in me, yet unwritten, so that will eat up some time from my current wips (which I have too many of! bad, bad Laika!). 
> 
> Anyhow, here's some bad jokes, banter and smooching! Please enjoy! And leave a comment, pretty please?

Even woke up in Valtersen’s bed, to the smell of fresh coffee. Something was sizzling on the pan as well. Breakfast? How long had he been sleeping? It was dark outside, but that didn’t really tell him much, this time of year. This was new for him, usually when he quit his meds he started to skip things like sleeping and eating. Must have been the painkillers.

Speaking of which, he sure would have loved one right about now.

“Valtersen?”

Valtersen hummed. He sounded less grumpy than usual. Maybe a good blowjob was all he needed, after all.

“My leg hurts.”

“Oh? Well. Tough.”

Even sat up and tried to lean over to see Valtersen, but he was too far away from the door.

“Tough?! I need a painkiller! I haven’t had one in twenty four hours, you know?”

“So, in addition to being annoying and self destructive, you’re also an idiot? Do you know how a clock works?”

Valtersen mixed something on the pan. Then he cracked an egg. The smell of breakfast filled the cabin and made Even’s stomach growl.

“It’s morning! I took one yesterday morning.”

“Bullshit. You’re not lying your way into getting more pills, I’m onto you.”

Even scoffed.

“I’m not lying! Unless you’ve shoved pills down my throat while I’ve been sleeping there’s no way I’ve taken any in a full day.”

Plates clattered. Valtersen was setting the table. Even saw his shadow on the floor.

“It’s still the same day. The sun set about half an hour ago.”

“Liar! You’re making breakfast, I can smell it.”

Valtersen paused. Even could almost see his face now, the annoyed but amused grumpy resting bitch face. Even knew this silence and had learnt what it meant.

“And I suppose there is a law or something forbidding to cook breakfast when it’s not morning? If you report me to the breakfast bureau I’ll be in so much trouble, won’t I?”

“Is this some sick game? Are you trying to fuck with my brain?”

Valtersen appeared to the opening. He stared at Even in disbelief.

“I am trying to feed you. I felt like breakfast for dinner, so I made some. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to, but I’d prefer it if you did.”

That must have been the politest Valtersen had been in a long time. Even looked at him, confused, his eyes wide and his lips parted. His hair a ruffled mess.

“Stop looking like that.”

“Uh. Like what?”

“Like something I want to stick my dick into.”

Even blushed. He closed his mouth and hid under the blanket. He wasn’t sure why, though, because Valtersen sticking his dick into him sounded really good. It was the way Valtersen said it. The contempt in his voice. Even didn’t know which one of them Valtersen despised, but the possibility of it being him hurt.

“I’m sorry?”

Valtersen chuckled.

“Fuck, you’re so. You. Sit up, I’ll help you to the table.”

Even sat up slowly. He was still hiding under the blanket. Valtersen pulled the covers off and wrapped Even’s arm around his shoulders. He picked Even up from the bed, just like that. He was so strong. Even felt like swooning. But he didn’t, they had a goal now. The dining table. With Valtersen’s help Even managed to drag himself to the table and sit down.

“My leg is still hurting”, he remarked.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before trying to snap it like a twig out on the yard.”

“I just wanted to take a crap! Jesus!”

Valtersen poured Even a steaming cup of black coffee before pouring himself one as well. What a gracious host. He had also piled up fried eggs and mushrooms and bacon on two plates, with a side of hot beans from a can.

“I’m putting you on rehab before it’s absolutely necessary. You can obviously handle your pain. I’m not giving you any more opiates.”

Even tried to come up with a counterargument that didn’t sound like he was getting addicted to the pills. He couldn’t. Except one.

“It’s been just days, I’m hardly an addict yet.”

“I’m not risking it. I have a dozen sharp hunting knives in this cabin, and firearms, and I am not having a fight with you over the pills.”

Valtersen shoved a heaping forkful of mushrooms in his mouth. Even followed suit. The food was delicious, not the least because he was starving.

They ate in solemn silence. Even ate every last morsel of food in front of him and drank three cups of coffee. Valtersen refused to pour him a fourth one.

“You’ll just get a buzz and then I’ll have to listen to your yapping all night.”

“I’m trying to have a conversation! It’s not yapping.”

“No. You’re filling the air with empty talk in the hopes of accidentally stumbling upon something meaningful.”

“Well at least I speak! All you do is growl and grumble like a beast. I’m yapping? You bark!”

Valtersen stood up so slowly Even forgot he was having a near argument with him. The way the man pressed his hands on the table and pushed himself up, straightened himself vertebrae by vertebrae, the way he kept his eyes fixed on Even while doing so, it was intimidating. Almost scary. Even had once again forgotten and now remembered, that Valtersen was a man capable of murder.

Was he going to die now? Had he angered a madman? Valtersen walked round the table, slowly, he was half crouching, his shoulders pushed forward and his arms slightly bent. He kept his eyes keenly on Even, and as he got closer Even could hear it. The low, quiet sound, vibrating from Valtersen’s chest and throat. He was growling.

Even couldn’t move. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Valtersen. He just sat there and stared at him, at the man who was approaching him, clearly ready to attack, and growling. Even could barely breathe. His lungs didn’t fill up properly, his breaths were short and shallow. He wasn’t in charge of himself anymore. He was  _ prey. _

Valtersen struck. He jumped over the last two steps and landed in front of Even. He grabbed Even’s shoulders and yanked him closer, and to his embarrassment Even made a little startled squeak on Valtersen’s lips just before they kissed him. Even melted into that kiss. His heart had nearly stopped beating from the tension and fear a second ago, and now it was pounding like crazy. He just sat there, held by Valtersen, kissed by Valtersen, and found himself drowning in complete, intoxicating surrender.

The kiss left as suddenly as it had arrived, and took Even’s breath away with it. He just stared at Valtersen again, mute, and a part of him rolled his eyes at the thought that Valtersen must have liked his silence real lot.

Valtersen grinned.

“Rruff.”

Even made a sound that was half sigh and half moan. Mostly air rushing out of him. It was a sound of interest and of welcome. Yes, he liked that, the beast man Valtersen just attacking him, he liked that a lot. When Valtersen pressed his mouth on Even’s throat and pretended to bite down, growling again, Even made the sound again.

“Oh god --”

Valtersen placed his hand over Even’s mouth. Oh, right. Yes. Silence. Even hummed into Valtersen’s palm, he promised to shut up. He was ready to promise anything. Valtersen moved his mouth along Even’s neck, to the side, under his ear, and as he bit down Even suffocated a loud moan. Oh god.

Even couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t think at all. His brain was full of lust and need and want, of his natural instincts to fight or flight battling his desire to do neither. He wanted to surrender to this beast, this man, and as Valtersen growled again, low and right against Even’s ear, he turned into wax. He would do anything Valtersen asked him to, right then and there.

They kissed again. Even’s neck was stinging deliciously, he knew he would bruise. The beast had marked his prey. Even didn’t grab Valtersen, he didn’t touch him, he was just sitting here, receiving, surrendering, giving in. Submissing. All his life he had been the more active party, it came to him naturally, he was outgoing and assertive, and in his speedier days more so than usual. But now, he was passive. No, not passive, he was very clearly and thoroughly and joyously into this, but he was definitely receiving.

Valtersen did what nobody else had done. He caught Even.

As Valtersen stepped back Even whined in disappointment. Valtersen wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb.

“I’m stepping outside just for a moment now. I’m going to heat up the sauna.”

Something warm was spilled inside Even’s belly. He could already smell the cozy heat, the smoke, the skin illuminated by flame. He could see the embers in Valtersen’s eyes as the man looked at him.

“We’re going to scrub you up real good.”


	11. Chapter 11

Valtersen was gone for what seemed like forever. Even sat by the dining table and looked at the window. It was pitch black outside, the motion detecting lights had turned off after Valtersen. All Even could see was the mirror image of the cabin, of the remains of breakfast-dinner on the table, and himself. The image was not like on a mirror, it was dimmer, diluted, softer around the edges. Ethereal. Ghostlike. Had Valtersen already killed him and he turned into a ghost, haunting this cabin for all eternity? Not all ghosts knew they were dead.

A rush of warmth in his crotch reminded Even he was very much alive. He was most definitely a carnal creature, and he was horny out of his mind. And worried. What if heating up the sauna was cooling down Valtersen? What if the man came back to the cabin and rejected Even? That would not do.

Even was still a bit cold, but he pushed the blanket off his shoulders. He had nice shoulders, if you didn’t mind skinnier guys. Valtersen didn’t seem to mind. His skin pulled into goosebumps, his nipples tightened up. He nibbled on his lips with his teeth to make them puff up nice and plump. If Valtersen was going to turn him down, Even was not going to make it easy.

He checked how he was doing from the window. The lights turned on at the same time, making him jump so that he almost fell off the chair. He tried to remember could Valtersen see in through the window before being close enough to turn the lights on. He had no idea.

Valtersen opened the door. Even turned to look at him, and the blanket fell in his lap. His whole torso was bared, on display, and the way Valtersen looked at it made Even blush. He was embarrassed and turned on and he really couldn’t tell what Valtersen thought of him. Usually he was able to simply assume that the other party thought he was the hottest stuff, but with this man, he felt insecurity he hadn’t felt in years. He wasn’t sure if he was good enough.

“Aren’t you cold?” Valtersen asked. Even blushed. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up over his shoulders again. He wanted to cover himself. He didn’t like that feeling at all.

“A bit”, Even said, quietly. He had been drooling at Valtersen’s image, a sixteen year old boy, and now he felt like one himself. A fucking teenager.

Valtersen pulled up a chair in front of the fireplace. Then he walked to Even and helped him up. He walked Even to the chair and helped him sit down. After adding one more piece of wood into the fire Valtersen seemed happy and walked to the linen cabinet.

Even looked at the fire. Valtersen had no need to walk him here, but he heard Even was cold and he did something about it. Did he actually care? The fire and his blushing warmed up Even’s face gently. He watched Valtersen from the corner of his eye. The man took towels from the cabinet. Two of them, and that made Even blush more intensely. The thought of them together at the sauna.

Scrubbing him up real good.

Valtersen placed his hand on Even’s shoulder.

“Come on. Let’s get you warmed up again.”

Even got up on his feet with Valtersen’s help. He didn’t resist when Valtersen took him up on his strong arms again. He just wrapped his arms around Valtersen’s neck and agreed to be carried. Even opened the door for them when they got to it, closed it after them, and repeated the process when they reached the sauna after a short visit to the outhouse.

Valtersen put Even down. The sauna smelled so good, like smoke and wood and lanterns. The light was soft, orange and dim. Even just stood there, huddled up inside his blanket, and stared at Valtersen. In this light Valtersen looked both gentle and dangerous. Mesmerizing. Even couldn’t stop staring at him as he undressed completely.

Even gasped involuntarily when Valtersen pushed the blanket off his shoulders. It fell on the floor at their feet, and Even was naked. The air thickened, it dragged itself slowly into Even’s lungs, escaping them in a long shivering sigh as Valtersen brushed his fingers across  Even’s chest, over his nipple.

Valtersen stepped past Even and opened the door to the sauna. A rush of heat hit Even. It was intense, but pleasing, just like last time. Valtersen climbed up on the top bench, Even sat down on the lower one, uncomfortably aware of the fact that in the darkness Valtersen was very close and very naked. The stove hissed and Even bowed his head as the heat bit down on his shoulders.

“You’re real quiet. Are you in pain?”

Even jumped when Valtersen suddenly spoke. Was he in pain. He wasn’t sure.

“Not too bad I guess?” His mind was way too busy thinking about Valtersen’s candlelit nudity to remember such mundane things as pain. “I just. You’re right, I talk too much.”

The stove hissed again. Even was starting to sweat.

“Do you really think that, or are you trying to impress me with your silence?”

Even bit his lip. He wasn’t sure, to be honest.

“Both?”

Valtersen chuckled. Even could imagine him shaking his head.

“You really are a piece of work, city boy.”

Even didn’t know how to respond to that. So he didn’t. He just sat there in silence, enjoying the heat, warming up all the way through. Staring into the darkness and waiting. Until he couldn’t wait a second more.

“Are you going to sleep with me now?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? Would that interest you?”

Even closed his eyes. Why did he let this man under his skin like this?

“Yes. Very much.”

“Well, it has been over a year. Maybe I don’t know how, anymore?”

Even laughed, surprised. He never could really tell if Valtersen was joking or not, especially when he couldn’t see the man. His eyes, especially, they were so expressive. Even expressed with his whole body, but Valtersen used mostly his eyes.

“I’m pretty uh. Experienced? I can guide you.”

Valtersen scoffed.

“You really don’t say things in your head before saying them out loud, do you?”

“Well. No. Not really.”

Even heard Valtersen move behind him. The skin brushing against the warm wood. He remembered the dick touching his back between his shoulder blades. Would he feel it again?

“I’d like to get out. Please move.”

Even bit his lip. He pressed his hands on the bench on his both sides to push himself up but then he stopped. No.

“I know you don’t want me here, and that I’ve been a jerk more than once, but I’d really like it if you’d be less passive aggressive.”

Even heard Valtersen move again. He came closer. He slid down on the lower bench behind Even’s back, his legs wrapping around Even’s body, his arm around Even’s throat. Valtersen squeezed. Slowly, he let Even breathe but barely, and he let Even feel his strength. He could simply squeeze the life out of Even. Easily.

“Is this active enough for you?”

Even grabbed Valtersen’s arm with both hands, trying to pull it away, but it didn’t move at all. This was it. He would die here, wouldn’t he? Valtersen would kill him, like he killed Emma, and it was all his own damn fault and.

Wait a second.

That was a dick.

Hard and demanding, pressed against Even’s lower back. Valtersen enjoyed this. Did he like killing people? Like  _ that. _ Even was getting dizzy, from the blocked air flow and the heat of the sauna and his developing panic. But he had felt many of those and that was definitely a dick.

“Please..” Even whimpered. Valtersen pressed tighter against him.

“Please what?” Valtersen’s breath was hot against Even’s ear.

“Please, fuck me. Please!”

Valtersen released his grip.

“Get up, city boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to update this once more before taking my month-long hiatus for November. I'm doing NaNoWriMo and probably won't have time to update other wips during that time.


	12. Chapter 12

Even’s legs were shaking but he managed to get up on his feet. Or, well, foot, he might have forgotten the pain but his body had not. He leaned on the wall with his hands to keep steady. He heard Valtersen move behind him, get down from the benches, and while he had hoped so he did not expect Valtersen to press his body against his back. But Valtersen did. Even felt his strong slightly sweaty chest against his skin. He leaned into it.

“Please”, Even said again, pressing the back of his head on Valtersen’s shoulder. Valtersen’s hair glued onto Even’s face. Or maybe it was his own, he didn’t know. It was dark, and hot and damp, and he was so scared and so turned on he couldn’t handle it at all.

Even squeaked when he felt Valtersen’s teeth on the side of his neck. The man bit down and sucked on the thin skin, nibbled at it, still sucking, and the delicious pain flashed through Even’s body all the way to the tip of his dick. It felt almost like he could come just from this, being bitten by Valtersen, leaning against his strong muscular body, alone and helpless in the dark.

“Stand up”, Valtersen grunted. He let go of Even’s neck. Even could feel the sting still, he knew it would bruise. He hoped it’d be a big, dark one, that would take days to disappear. Even managed to support himself on the wall again, so Valtersen could step away.

Even’s heart was throbbing as he followed Valtersen to the washroom. Valtersen fetched hot water and mixed it with cold water waiting in the tub. He tried it with his hand. Even devoured him with his eyes, his skin, in the flickering light. He was so fucking sexy. All man. The boy, the sixteen year old boy from the picture, was no more, not in this light.

“Bend over, city boy.”

Even blushed. He looked at the bench Valtersen had nodded towards. He dragged himself to the bench, leaned his hands on both edges and lowered his body slowly, in a reversed push-up, down on the bench. He kept his injured leg straight but bent his other knee to support his weight, and he draped his torso over the bench, leaned his elbows on the floor. There he was, bent over, rock hard.

He wasn’t sure if it bothered him or not, that Valtersen didn’t use his name. It added to the danger, somehow, it mystified Valtersen further. It made him something separate, someone who had stepped away from the society and its rules, and Even kind of liked it. He had kind of liked it when Valtersen strangled him just a little moment ago. Now that he wasn’t too busy worrying about possibly dying he realized he had sort of enjoyed the idea.

The shadows danced on the floor in front of Even’s face. Was that Valtersen’s? Or that one? His position reminded him of the old days and guillotines, decapitations. How hard would it be for Valtersen to scrub his blood off these wooden floors? Would he even bother?

Even jumped when he felt water hit his back. It was warm, but not hot, it spread all over him like a thin blanket. Valtersen hummed softly. His voice was dark and warm. It made Even’s belly feel warm as well. Valtersen poured one more ladle of water on him, and then Even could smell soap. Time for scrubbing up. Real good.

The soap lathered and slid on Even’s skin. Valtersen’s motions were gentle but thorough, and he scrubbed every inch of Even’s back carefully. He was breathing heavier. So was Even. When he felt Valtersen’s slippery fingers slide between his cheeks Even moaned. He pressed his hips back against the hand. Please.

“Easy”, Valtersen said, placing his hand on Even’s lower back. “Soap dries up everything, it’s horrible lube.”

Even blushed. Yes, of course. He was lucky that Valtersen cared about things like that, because Even himself sure as hell didn’t. He just wanted those fingers inside him, and that dick. Oh god, how he wanted it inside him. But he had to wait, and he did his best to hold still while Valtersen washed him.

More water splashed over Even. He was more and more aware of his position and its awkwardness and how humiliating it was. How much it turned him on. Even heard Valtersen move behind him, he saw his movements from the shadows on the floor and walls, he could smell the soap again. Valtersen was scrubbing himself as well, nice and clean. Even raised his fingertips on his neck. It was already a bit sore. He liked that a lot.

Finally, after a small eternity, Valtersen put the water ladle away.

“Are you cold?” Valtersen asked. Even shook his head. He didn’t want to speak, Valtersen liked him quiet. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the potential fucking about to happen.

The cap of the lube clicked. Even closed his eyes. Yes. Fucking yes. He knew that sound, he could recognize it in his sleep.

Fuck, he really was a slut, wasn’t he?

It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Valtersen was lubing up something, and the only reason to do that was to push it inside him. Even swayed his ass just a bit, impatient, he raised it higher. Come on. Please.

“I’m going to push my finger into you now, if that’s okay.”

Even almost laughed. Valtersen was so thoughtful and polite and that was simply out of character.

“Yes. Please. And please stop being so nice and just fucking ravish me.”

Valtersen’s hand creeped up along Even’s spine, all the way up to his hair.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Fuck, just do it already!”

Valtersen grabbed Even’s hair. Oh fuck yes. Even tilted his head back in that grip, he moaned loud, and then Valtersen finally, finally pushed his lubed up finger inside. Even whimpered and moaned, repeating tiny little moans, as his long untouched ass was being penetrated. It felt like so much, just one finger, and he knew he would have to take in something much bigger, hopefully very soon.

It felt incredible. Being finally filled up by Valtersen, to feel his hand in his hair, to hear the man’s low grunts and growls as he moved his hand back and forth, his finger moving in and out of Even’s tight hot hole. Being on his knees and bent over a bench like this. Even rocked his hips, swayed them, he spun his ass in small circles and let himself go crazy with need and want. He needed this. He wanted this. He had wanted this for years.

Two fingers were so much more than one. And still it was so little, compared to the dick Even could feel brush up against the back of his thigh or his ass cheek every now and then, when Valtersen’s body moved along his, his strong warmth enveloping Even. Even was panting, he was sweating again, and as Valtersen bent his fingers inside him he moaned louder again.

Valtersen pushed his palm against Even’s mouth. Even’s eyes rolled back in his head. He lifted his ass higher, tighter against Valtersen’s hand, in a display of enthusiasm and eagerness. He wanted this, he was loving this so much, he had forgotten about his pain and his predicament and all he could think about was Valtersen, his muscular arms and legs, his well defined chest and abs, his relentless fingers and his wonderful, big hard dick.

Valtersen’s fingers left Even open when they slid out of him. Even whimpered, muffled against the man’s palm. He heard the click again. It made his mouth water and his dick twitch. He heard Valtersen lather the lube on something, he didn’t feel it on himself, and he knew it was finally time. Still he felt kind of unprepared when he felt the tip push against his hole. It wasn’t the first dick ever inside him, but it was the first in quite a while. It was really welcome here.

Maybe Valtersen wanted to ask him if this was okay. There was a question in his hands, trailing along Even’s body now, as he pushed deeper inside. Even wanted to tell him it was okay but he had forgotten how to speak. His body had taken over and his mind had abandoned him for now. But he could move, and he did, he pushed his ass back in one quick move, making the dick split him in two and himself scream.

Now Valtersen’s hands asked louder. Even shook his head, then nodded, then he moved his ass in a small circle a couple of rounds. He was okay. He loved this. He wanted this so much, so bad, he needed this. Valtersen seemed to finally understand, the hands stopped asking and started demanding, they grabbed Even tightly on the hips. Oh yes, yes, yes.

The wood under him was hard but warm, just like the dick moving inside him in long, rough strokes. Their shadows joined each other on the floor, into one creature, one entity, their bodies and movements synching. This was far from what Even had imagined sex with Valtersen would be like, but at the same time all his expectations were exceeded. It was raw. It was hard. It was gritty and primal and uncivilized, and it was fucking perfect.

Even could feel Valtersen was getting close. He felt it in his grip, and on his dick, on the rhythm of his thrusts - Valtersen was losing focus on Even and concentrating on himself, his pleasure, his approaching peak. Even allowed that, he encouraged that, he couldn’t wait for Valtersen to come. Would he come inside him? Would he come on him? He was dying to find out.

He didn’t have to wait for long. Valtersen yanked himself out of him, panting and groaning, Even heard a few wet strokes and then it hit him, two splashes across his cheeks. They made him moan. They made him pulsate. He was close himself, so close, and so hard, he was clinging on the bench and afraid to move without permission. It didn’t feel appropriate. Valtersen was in charge here.

Valtersen took a couple of steps back. Even heard the ladle, the tub, the water, and this time he didn’t jump when he felt the water be poured over him. Valtersen cleaned up after himself. Even was shaking again.

“Roll over.”

Even pushed himself up a bit. Slowly, his arms shaking, his whole body shivering. He turned around, assisted by Valtersen, and sat down on the bench. Valtersen kneeled down on the wooden boards between his legs.

“Lean on your hands.”

Even lowered his hands on the floor. It was a bit awkward but manageable, and in this position Valtersen could grab his thighs and yank his hips forward, so that his ass was hanging a bit over the edge of the bench. Even heard the click one more time, then he felt a slippery finger push inside him. It went in so easily, it made Even blush. And moan.

Valtersen’s lips enveloping the tip of Even’s dick made Even moan again. He was scared to look down, afraid that the sight might make him come immediately. But he had to look. He had to see. He turned his head a bit, he looked down. Valtersen had bowed over him so he couldn’t see what his mouth was doing to his dick, just his curly hair bobbing up and down in the rhythm of his wet mouth. Valtersen’s back, muscular, the light and shadows in their intricate dance on his skin. It was beautiful. This man, this man on his knees between Even’s legs, was so fucking beautiful.

Even couldn’t help it. He was coming. Valtersen was doing his best to make that happen, and though he didn’t give the greatest head ever he gave good head, and his finger really knew what it was doing. Even’s stomach curled up into a ball, his dick swelled just a bit more, and he pushed his head back and screamed as he came. In the red hot mist of his orgasm he noted that Valtersen had let him come in his mouth.

That notation proved to be correct. Valtersen got up, pulled Even up and kissed him. Even could taste himself on Valtersen’s lips. He could taste a lot of himself. Like. All of it. Valtersen opened his lips for Even’s tongue, and he pushed it in through that slippery crack, he lapped up every last drop of his own cum from Valtersen’s mouth eagerly. It was so wrong. It was so hot. He had never experienced anything like this.

When Even was done Valtersen pulled back. He took one more ladle of water and poured it over Even, rinsing off the sweat he had worked up. Then he rinsed himself with the rest of the warm water and handed Even a towel.

Even took it and after drying himself he wrapped the towel around himself. Under his armpits, like a girl. He was feeling suddenly a bit shy, timid and awkward. Aware of himself and his nudity, of what he had just done. He was a dirty slut.

Valtersen grabbed the towel and pulled Even up on his feet from it. He smiled at Even, not really with his lips but with his eyes. The small crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes were kind of adorable. Even looked at the man, biting the inside of his bottom lip, a part of him wanting to run away and none of him able to.

“I had made a bed for us here”, Valtersen said. Even looked at the sleeping area and yes, there was a bed. Made for two. Even blushed. Why was he blushing? Valtersen turned Even’s face back to look at him.

“Should I bring the lube with us there?”

Even wanted to say yes. He wanted to have sex until the late dawn with this man, have him conquer his body over and over again. He really, really wanted to say yes.

“If you want to.”

Valtersen looked at him for a moment. Just stood there, quiet, looking at him. Then he shook his head.

“Nah. You’ve drained me, city boy. Come on.”

Even let Valtersen help him to the bed. He let the man take the towel from him and hang it on the nail by the door. Even sat down and crawled in the bed, watching Valtersen clean up after them. Valtersen opened the door of the sauna and added some wood in the stove. He left the door open and by the time the sweet heat reached the bed Even was already half asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it! They have finally fucked. Thank you for your patience.
> 
> As I said last chapter, I'm taking November off from my current wips in order to write my NaNoWriMo novel. It'll be posted to the next Big Bang, in March (I think?). If I'm inspired, and have time, and need a change of pace, I might update something, but no promises.


	13. Chapter 13

Valtersen barely noticed Even’s existence the next morning. He didn’t say a word to Even, not even a good morning. Or any other kind of morning. He just helped Even get dressed, and to the outhouse, and then to the house. He grunted something about chickens and disappeared outside, leaving Even inside to eat an unheated can of beans for his breakfast.

The spoon clacked against the tin as Even shoveled the mush into his mouth. It wasn’t tasty. It wasn’t proper. Even missed the breakfasts Valtersen usually made him. He missed Valtersen, and that was really stupid, considering. Last night, for example. He had finally been fucked by that man, and it had been amazing when it happened, but now, when Even tried to play it back inside his head shame flushed over him in a suffocating tidal wave. He had been a bitch, if there ever was one, and he had loved it.

It was obvious Valtersen had zero respect for bitches.

At least he had given Even his painkillers before he left. No opioids, sadly, because only them seemed to really work, but Valtersen was right. He could handle his pain. It was tolerable. The opioids would have done wonders to his inner turmoil, though, but he would have to deal with it on his own.

If only Valtersen  _ liked _ him. Even a little. But no, the man couldn’t stand him, and his moment of weakness last night probably pissed him off. Even had felt like this before, many times. He had walked countless miles, the walk of shame, but this time he couldn’t even walk. He couldn’t curl up on his bed and stay there until the feeling passed. He couldn’t go and find some other guy in some other bar. He was stuck here, and he was stuck with Valtersen, and he had royally fucked up every chance he had with him.

The can was empty. Even scraped it clean and half threw it on the table in front of him. He glared at his stupid leg, propped up on a chair, and out of a whim hit himself on the shin with the back of his spoon.

“Motherfucker!”

It was a bad idea, like all his ideas these days. Pain shot along his bones to his toes and hip, and made him see stars. He was probably exaggerating, imagining the pain being worse than it was, because his brain was starting to get on hyperdrive. Valtersen hadn’t gone to get his meds from the town yet, and it was starting to show.

He would have to tell Valtersen what to expect. What to look out for. If the man only would be willing to listen to him yapping away for that long. Even felt his shame make way for his righteous anger. Who the fuck did Valtersen think he was? He had no right to treat him like this! He was a goddamn person, and he had earned respect.

No. Shit. If he pissed Valtersen off, the man might just drive him into the forest and leave him there. Or he could go himself, just a few days, and Even would manage to get himself killed on his own. He had to, absolutely had to, keep Valtersen happy. Or at least help the man tolerate his uninvited guest.

Even made a little frustrated scream and threw the spoon across the room. It hit the wall and clinged on the floor. Even stared at it, glared at it, and in that moment of intense self hatred the poor piece of metal had the questionable honour of representing a certain Even Bech Næsheim. Useless. Immobile. Abandoned.

Why the fuck did he care what Valtersen thought about him? The man was a killer! A murderer! And Even was just lucky to have been entertaining enough to be kept alive for this long, wasn’t he?

Shit. He really needed a distraction. He couldn’t move anywhere, he was stuck here, but he could do meditation or some other mind palace shit, right? Okay. He closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. Mind palace. A lovely cabin in the middle of the woods. The smell and warmth of a fireplace. Candlelight, soft and soothing, easy on the eyes. The hiss of the stove in the sauna. The sweat glistening on Valteren’s shoulder, drizzling down his chest, to his chiseled abs, all the way down to -- wait, what?

Even opened his eyes. That didn’t go as he had thought it would. Like. At all. Now he was pissed off, bored  _ and _ horny. Like, really horny. Like, rock hard horny. Fuck. No. No fuck. What was the opposite of fuck?

He looked out the window, trying to see Valtersen. He didn’t see him. It was still dark outside, and Valtersen was probably inside with the chickens. But for how long? What was he doing there? Having Valtersen come back and meet Even here with his dick in his hand was not something Even wanted. Hell no.

He was really, really hard, though.

The idea of Valtersen walking in while he was pleasuring himself was actually turning him on more. Fuuuuck. Why. He was an idiot, that’s why. But he loved poking at Valtersen, to try and find a crack in his shell. To shove his dick through? No! No. No shoving, it had been established already. Even was Valtersen’s bitch. And he was running in circles inside his head, faster and faster. Where the fuck was Valtersen?

“Fuck it.”

Even opened his pants and pulled his dick out of them. It was hard, rock hard, and throbbing. As Even wrapped his fingers around it, it felt like pulsating. It beat in groups of three, Valtersen, Valtersen, he could feel it in his hand. He moved his hand up and down in that same rhythm, and his lips uttered the name with each stroke. Valtersen. Valtersen. It felt so good, so dirty, to sit here with his pants open and dick in hand, and knowing Valtersen could walk in any second. Even slowed down when he was about to reach his peak, to make this moment stretch further, to give Valtersen time to come back.

Even came before Valtersen did. He couldn’t help himself, it felt too good, it was too hot, he had to come. So he did. All over his stomach, and it was then when he realized he was still wearing a shirt. He stained his clothes with his cum, and Valtersen would actually come back inside sooner or later. Now, when the rush was over, he wasn’t really expecting that all that much.

There wasn’t much he could do. He licked his fingers clean, packed his dick in his pants and tried his best to rub the stains on his shirt to mask them as something else. It probably worked. Valtersen didn’t seem like the type of guy who paid attentions to details like stains on clothes. Animal.

Shit. Even had just come, but still thinking about Valtersen made him feel the urge starting to build up again. He really, really needed his medication, before he did something stupid to piss Valtersen off enough to actually do something about him.

The door opened. Even screamed like a girl and jumped in his chair so high he almost tumbled down off it.

“Shit! You’re like a fucking ninja!”

Valtersen didn’t say anything. He carried the firewood he had on his arms to the rack by the fireplace and dropped the whole lot next to it. Then he got down on one knee and stacked the wood neatly. His every motion had a purpose, and he looked so rugged and manly, and Even remembered how he had been fucked last night by that man-beast, and fuck, he was hard again.

“I need my medication.”

“I’m going to town tomorrow. You will have to manage until that.”

“You don’t understand. I’ve been without it too long. It’s starting to affect me.”

Valtersen didnt’ repeat himself. He would be going to town tomorrow, and that was it. Even clenched his fists. Fucking arrogant prick! Just because he happened to have two good legs and the skills and know-how to manage in the middle of nowhere didn’t mean he got to be the boss, did it?

“I don’t want to die because you don’t feel like going to town today.”

Valtersen turned to look at him, frowning.

“I thought your medicine wasn’t crucial to your life support.”

“Being off it makes me go fast. Too fast. I get snappy, I get horny, I get impulsive and I get real fucking annoying to you.”

Valtersen laughed. Even was starting to get really angry at him.

“How is that different to my experience of you this far?”

“Fuck you too! And so you know, if I could fucking move, I would be jumping up from this fucking chair right now and making sure to knock it over.”

Valtersen laughed. Again. Asshole. Fucking asshole.

“That’s just it, Evy. You can’t move.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Sorry, did you prefer city boy to your name?”

Even was absolutely fuming.

“My name is Even, asshole!”

“To be honest, I don’t really give a fuck.”

Yes. Finally, Valtersen was giving him a rational response. Even wanted more of that, to push the man out of his stoic superiority. He grabbed the empty can and threw it at Valtersen. It hit him, on the chest, and left a stain on his shirt. The clank it made when it fell on the floor almost echoed in the shocked silence created by the throw.

Valtersen stood up. Slowly. He was holding a piece of firewood in his hand and Even could not take his eyes off it. Head trauma with a blunt object? A crushed throat? What would his coroner’s report say?

Valtersen walked past him. He got a bucket from the porch and slammed it next to Even’s chair. He loaded two bottles of water on the table, and another can of beans. No spoon this time. Maybe he didn’t notice Even had tossed his away. A bottle of painkillers.

“Where are you going? Are you leaving me?” Panic was kicking in, Even’s voice was almost shrieking. Valtersen took the keys from the nail by the door.

“To the fucking town. Don’t burn the cabin down while I’m away, dickhead.”

Even should have tried to beg him to stay. To at least prepare his leaving better. He didn’t want to sit here all day, with nothing to do! Couldn’t he have left at least a radio on or something? But he didn’t say anything, he just sat there, biting his tongue. He didn’t even look at the windows, he turned his back to them. He watched his shadow appear on the opposite wall in the car’s headlights, and then disappear.


	14. Chapter 14

Finally the handful of painkillers Even had taken kicked in. He had waited impatiently, eager to be able to put his plan into action. It was an excellent plan, if Even said so himself, and Valtersen would be super impressed.

Step one, get dressed. Even pushed himself up on his good foot and hopped to the coat rack. He found a long woolen scarf, and wrapped it around his neck. It smelled like Valtersen, so intensely that Even had to close his eyes for a second and just inhale. Mmmmm. Woodlandsy.

Even managed to dress himself up in a fisherman’s sweater, a hunter’s jacket and a thick hat. It was getting hot, actually, but he had to make sure he wouldn’t freeze. Even hopped back to the table and packed the bottle of painkillers in the jacket’s pocket. A bottle of water in the other pocket. The can of beans in a third pocket. Even was delighted to find the abundance of pockets this jacket had. Really handy.

He paused to think about pockets in general. Why did his jeans have only two decent pockets? There were five in total but only two usable, unless he wanted to sit on his stuff. He didn’t want to. This jacket was something else, oh yes, Even started counting the usable pockets but lost count at seven because he found a small pocket knife in the left breast pocket. It had a burgundy handle and a shiny silver blade that folded out and in effortlessly. This might come in handy, in case the fox would attack.

Ah. Yes. The fox. Even had been sitting and thinking and realized that with Valtersen’s absence the chickens might be in grave danger. He had seen a flash of orange in the corner of his eye, under a tree in the yard, and decided that he would have to take action. Here he was, fully equipped and ready for a fight. Though, to be honest, he really didn’t want to fight a fox. They bit, didn’t they? And Even wasn’t a fighter in general.

Man, it was hot in here.

Time to go. Step two, get to the henhouse. Even opened the door and cold air rushed in. Or was it the warm air rushing out? He couldn’t remember which way round it was, but he knew he was creating wind right now. If he only knew which way was north. It would have been cool to make north wind blow.

What was that! Something cracked in the woods! Even tried to squint and see into the darkness, but he couldn’t. Nothing. Probably the wind, and he was the creator of wind, practically a god,  so he had nothing to fear. Wind was Even’s bitch. Now that he thought of it, it seemed quite a big responsibility. To be in charge of wind. What if he forgot to send forth the winds that brought springtime?

Even chuckled. Okay, these painkillers were really something. He was not in charge of wind. He was letting cold into the cabin, and Valtersen would be pissed when he got back. So, Even finally stepped outside and closed the door. It clicked, and only then it dawned on him that he didn’t have the key.

“Crap.”

Well. That meant no more wind. That was a huge relief. Now, the chickens. Even looked around on the porch and spotted a shovel. Perfect. He hopped to it and realized he had forgotten something important. Shoes. Or, technically, he would have needed only one shoe, so he had failed only at fifty percent efficiency, but still, this was a major flaw in his operation. That, and the keys.

Well. Two strikes didn’t mean defeat. Carry on, soldier. Even took the shovel and was pleased to find it tall enough to work as a crutch. The yard was frozen, but that meant it was solid, so his sock probably wouldn’t get wet on the way. Now, to locate the hen house.

Even hopped to the yard, leaning on the shovel, to turn the lights on. They lit up, nice and bright, and Even looked around at the buildings. He decided that it wouldn’t have windows because of heat escaping, and it would probably be kind of small for the same reason. That must be the one. Even headed for the small shack. The shovel’s tip sank a bit into the ground with each step. It wasn’t as frozen as it seemed, but it was luckily dry. He made it to his destination with a cold foot but dry socks.

Small victories.

Even tried the door. It opened.

“Hello? Chickens? Don’t worry, I am not a fox.”

It smelled like a hen house. And Even heard sounds, too, clucking and feathers rustling. Chickens! Even found a lantern and turned it on, delighted, and made a little squee when he finally saw them. There were four of them, all bigger than he thought. They were plump and fluffy and pretty. A white one, a gray one, a brown one and a black one. Though the black one was skinnier and looked different in other ways too, and when it opened its beak and crowed Even understood why. It wasn’t a chicken at all! It was a rooster!

“I’m terrible sorry, mister rooster! I thought there were only chickens here. That was rude of me.”

Even stepped inside and closed the door. It wasn’t too warm in here. There was a small heater in the corner but it didn’t seem to be turned on. Even tried the switch but nothing happened. Damn. He took his scarf off and opened the coop’s door.

“Don’t you worry, chickens and mister rooster, uncle Even’s here. I’m sorry I have only one scarf, but I’m sure it’s long enough for all of you.”

It wasn’t easy to cover three chickens and a rooster with one scarf. But somehow Even managed to get the chickens to cooperate with him. The rooster was having none of it, it was just strutting around the coop and crowing every now and then. Even decided to leave him be. He seemed to be on top of his game.

Even was getting tired. This hopping around was bothersome, and his brain was snapping, crackling and popping constantly. Even could almost feel the synapses flash and flicker. He couldn’t keep up with himself, and that was exhausting. Even looked at the door, frowning. Should he be making wind now? He couldn’t open that door, mister rooster was strutting around the shack because Even had forgotten the coop’s door open.

He sat down on the floor and chatted with the chickens to pass the time. They got quite well acquainted. Even knew, deep down inside, that this was crazy. He was crazy. But he also knew that Valtersen was getting him meds that would make this go away. Meanwhile, he had to try to make the most of his connection to the whole universe and all things living and breathing. Like these chickens. And the rooster.

Even woke up when he heard a car door slam. Valtersen was back. Even was freezing, he was shaking with cold and his pain was waking up again. Or maybe he was hungry. Whatever the reason, he was feeling like shit, and he needed Valtersen’s help to get out of here.

“Valtersen!” Even yelled. “I’m here! Help!”

Even heard steps. Valtersen was coming. Yes! He was saved! But then he realized that he had to save mister rooster! Even grabbed the handle just in time, he hung from it and stopped Valtersen from opening the door.

“Wait! Be careful or you’ll let Almodovar out!”

Valtersen was very, very quiet. At least he stopped pulling at the door. Pedro was safe!

“Have you let my chickens out of the coop, you idiot?”

“Uh. Maybe? Just Pedro! Julia, Claire and Nicole are still in there.”

“Have you  _ named _ my chickens?”

Even licked his lips quickly. He could hear through the door that Valtersen was pissed off. He was happy that the door was between them.

“Uhm. Yes? The white one is Claire Danes, the brown one is Julia Roberts and the gray one is Nicole Kidman. Mister rooster is Pedro Almodovar.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Just be careful when you open the door, okay?”

“I should just leave you in there.”

“The heater doesn’t work. I’m so cold, and Julia Roberts pooped in my scarf.”

Valtersen sounded like he was having a seizure. Maybe he was? He had gotten so pissed off at Even that he had a stroke or something?

Wait. No. That was.

Valtersen was laughing.

It was a lot of work to get Even back into the house. Valtersen wasn’t happy to be the one who had to do the work, or most of it, but finally Even was on his back on the couch. Valtersen took a box of pills from his pocket and placed it on Even’s chest.

“Here. It seems that you really need them.”

Even dug out the water bottle from the pocket. He tore the box open and pushed two pills on his palm, threw them in his mouth and swallowed them with greedy gulps of water. Oh, balance, how had he missed it. Being in charge of the wind and conversing with chickens was exhausting.

“Thank you.”

It was quiet. Valtersen was restarting the fire. Even wanted to explain himself but didn’t know how.

“I wanted to protect them from the fox.”

Valtersen paused in the middle of pushing a piece of wood into the fireplace.

“The. Fox?”

“Yes. I saw it. Or. Well. I think I saw it. I think I saw a fox and I needed to protect the chickens from it. I didn’t know about Pedro at that point.”

“I eat the chickens when they stop laying eggs. How the hell am I supposed to slaughter, cook and eat Julia Roberts?”

Even sat up. Shocked.

“You EAT them?!”

“Well.” Valtersen looked a bit insecure. That expression looked weird on him. “Like I said, I haven’t managed to make them live through the winter. And. Um. It’s not good for you to eat meat that’s been dead with the blood inside for too long.”

Even grinned. He knew it. Valtersen was wild, but he wasn’t a savage.

“You haven’t eaten your chickens.”

“I couldn’t have! It’s different.”

“Sure.”

Even laid down again. He was exhausted.

“Their heater isn’t working.”

“I know. I tried to connect it to a solar panel but there just isn’t enough light in wintertime.”

“We need to bring them in the house.”

“No. You reek of chicken shit enough as it is.”

Even tried to protest but shivers interrupted him. The cabin was warm, but he wasn’t warming up. Valtersen got up and came to the bed. He spread a blanket over Even. Then another one. A third one.

“I’ll heat up the sauna. Try to keep warm. And stay away from the film crew.”

Even laughed. This was just so absurd. His life was nothing but a series of absurdities. At least this time he wasn’t alone, or bar hopping for a week straight. He was with Valtersen, and Valtersen took care of him.

That felt really nice.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed a little bit of silly to wash down the angst of First Star. Lucky you!

While waiting for Valtersen to come back from the sauna to help him get in there, Even had time to think. Mostly about the chickens. They had been really hospitable and friendly, and Nicole had an amazing sense of humour. Even couldn’t let them freeze to death. It was only November, and soon it would be super cold. He was most worried about Pedro, who had refused the warmth of the scarf.

He was possibly the man in charge of wind. Could he control the temperature as well? No, that was silly. Temperature was a totally different thing, to begin with. It was bigger, and more complicated, and trickier, and why was he still thinking about this stupid thing? He was not in charge of wind, or any other kind of weather, and he couldn’t wait for this to stop.

Fuck, he was exhausted.

Maybe a nap would be good. Even rested his forehead against the table and closed his eyes. If he was sleepy, he would fall asleep right here. Solid plan.

Valtersen got back before sleep took Even over. Alrighty then. Even opened his eyes but didn’t feel like getting up just yet. He felt Valtersen’s hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Even shot up, with a beaming smile on his face.

“Awwwww! You care!”

Valtersen stared at him. He looked like the textbook definition of flabbergasted. It made Even giggle. Valtersen rolled his eyes.

“God you’re annoying. If you didn’t reek of chicken shit I’d leave you here while I go bathe.”

Even pouted. Valtersen was so mean to him.

“We need to bring the chickens inside. The winter is coming.”

“The winter is already here.” Valtersen dragged Even up on his feet and swung Even’s arm over his shoulders. “And we are not taking the chickens inside.”

It was hard work to get Even to the sauna, so the subject was put on the table for that time. But as soon as Even sat down on the bench in the dressing space he started again. He had to, the chickens were under his protection.

“They will freeze to death.”

“I hope not. I have insulated the coop better this year, and I a thinking about heating up bricks in the fireplace and taking them there for the night.”

Even smiled.

“You do care about them too!”

Valtersen pulled his shirt over his head. Even lost the trail of his thought completely.

“Of course I care about them! I am not giving up until I figure out a way.”

“Uh..yeah uh..sure.” Even stared at Valtersen’s body with his mouth open. Had it really been just about twenty four hours since he last saw it in this light?

Focus, Even! Think about Nicole!

“But what if the bricks are not enough? You can’t let them die. We need to protect them! If I come sleep in your bed we can make a house for the chickens on the couch.”

“We are not letting them soak the couch in chicken shit, you idiot. For the same reason we’re not taking them in the house. That stuff is vile and potentially dangerous.”

Valtersen had undressed and since Even hadn’t even started the man grabbed his shirt and pulled it off. Even had to pause again, distracted by the 220 percent increase in hotness in his direct vicinity. Valtersen took advantage of his confusion and removed Even’s pants as well. Then he helped Even into the sauna.

“Can I sit on the top bench this time?”

Valtersen laughed.

“I’m not moving over to let you out when you’ve had enough, city boy.”

The plan struck Even like lightning. It was crystal clear. He knew now how to save the chickens.

“If I can stay in here longer than you, the chickens will come inside. And if you win, I’ll drop the subject for good.”

Valtersen scoffed.

“Right. As if you’d be able to keep your end of the deal.”

Even pushed his chin forward. He would not be defeated.

“You won’t need to worry about that because I will win.”

Valtersen didn’t look impressed. But he did help Even up on the top bench, and sat down beside him. He threw some water on the stove, and the sharp first bite of the heat turned into pleasant warmth almost immediately.

“Not one word about the chickens. Not a peep.”

Even nodded, grinning. He felt almost bad for Valtersen, because the man had no idea that Even was in charge of the wind and potentially could control the temperature. This match was rigged from the start. Valtersen didn’t stand a chance.

They didn’t speak anymore. They just sat there, in the near dark silence, sweat glistening on their naked bodies. Valtersen threw more water on the stove every now and then, and the heat kept them in a constant, tight embrace. It was getting uncomfortable. But Even thought about Nicole, and Julia, Claire and Pedro, and he knew he could do this. He would do this. He pressed his hands on the edge of the bench and squeezed on the wooden surface. His shoulder blades stuck out like stubs of wings. He was the king of wind, the liberator of chickens.

Even had no idea how long they had been sitting here. He was getting a bit disoriented because of the heat. He was lightheaded and a bit nauseated, but he would not give in. He would sit here until he was cooked through if that was what it took to save his little squad. Valtersen seemed to be turning more inside himself than usual, his whole presence was rapidly shrinking and he was gritting his teeth.

“Motherfucking cocksucking shit!” Valtersen hissed as he stormed out of the sauna. He left the door open, and a gust of cool air - wind, come to your master! - rushed over Even. It felt really good, but it didn’t help for long.

“Valtersen?” Even tried to call for the man but his voice was barely a whisper. Fuck, it was hot. He was so dizzy. He might pass out, and tumble into the hot stove. He had to take precaution. Even scooted slowly further away from the stove and laid down on the bench so he wouldn’t fall over if he fainted.

Cool water splashed on him. Even opened his eyes and shrieked. Valtersen grabbed him and pulled him out of the sauna and on the washing space floor. Even was panting, and he was feeling sick, and Valtersen shoved a vat under his face just in time before Even threw up.

Worth it.

Fifteen minutes later Even was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. Valtersen sat on the bench, his elbows on his knees and his fingers crossed behind his neck.

“Fuck.” Valtersen sounded drained. Even was feeling like that too.

“I cheated”, Even confessed.

“What?”

“I can possibly control temperature with my thoughts. It wasn’t a fair match.”

Valtersen raised his face and stared at him. For a long time.

“Oh for fuck’s sake. You’re being serious.”

Even blushed. Now that he had said it out loud he heard how stupid it was. He shook his head.

“It’s. I get these. Thoughts. That don’t leave me alone, and I don’t really question them because I can’t, and. The pills will help with that soon. I hope.”

Valtersen nodded slowly.

“Right. I sure hope so too.”

Even sighed, staring at his hands that were resting on his lap. It was so stupid. He was so stupid, and ashamed, but at the same time he just  _ knew _ he was special. He knew it wasn’t true, but the feeling was so strong it overrode what he thought.

“I’m sorry”, he said quietly. “I told you I need my meds.”

“Oh, no you don’t. Your predicament is your own damn fault, driving up here to stalk me.”

At least Valtersen didn’t sound mad. Even peeked at him and saw the man wasn’t exactly smiling, but there was this warm-ish aura about him. Benevolence.

“I’m really hungry”, Even said. He wasn’t  _ really _ hungry, just kind of peckish, but he wanted Valtersen to take care of him for a bit.

“You should rest”, Valtersen grunted. “I’ll go get you something to eat, and some extra blankets just in case the night gets colder.”

Valtersen got up and pulled his shoes on. He threw the jacket over his shoulders and walked outside without pants. Even ogled at his ass a bit as he passed by. Then the ass and its owner were gone, and Even was alone again. He leaned his head on the wall and closed his eyes.

So. Worth. It.


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks to their sauna competition both Even and Valtersen were too exhausted to even consider anything else than shoveling food in their mouths and then collapsing to the bed Valtersen had made them in the sauna house. Even passed out the very moment his head hit the pillow.

The next morning Valtersen was sitting on the bench, scribbling something on the wall with a sooty stick. Even rubbed his eyes, yawning, and tried to stretch his neck out so he could see better. It didn’t really work. He would have to either get up - not really happening, with his leg and all - or ask.

“What are you doing?”

Valtersen didn’t raise his eyes from his work.

“Making calculations on what I need to construct a new chicken coop on the terrace. They are  _ not _ coming in the house, but I might be able to redirect heat from the chimney somehow.”

“But won’t the smoke suffocate them?”

Now Valtersen turned to look at Even. He had that face on again, the one that tried to decipher whether Even was kidding or not.

“In short: no. The smoke is not going where the chickens are.”

Even nodded, relieved. Good. The chickens wouldn’t be smoked.

“That’s good. I need to protect them, you see, and I can’t have you harming them, because I can’t really fight you with my injury.”

Valtersen shook his head.

“You really don’t say things out loud in your head first. You just let them come out of your yappy mouth.”

“That’s really misogynistic of you, you know.”

There that face was again. Maybe Valtersen’s face was starting to get stuck in that expression.

“Are you telling me you’re a woman?”

“Well. No. But I could be one! And then you would be totally misogynistic when you say that I’m yapping.”

Valtersen sighed and got back to work. Even laid in his bed, pouting a bit. Or, to be honest, he was pretending to be sulking just so he could take some time to think about things before he just said them out loud.

He was kind of happy that his current obsession was chickens instead of, say, Valtersen’s ultra hot man-body. It really could have gone either way. In a couple of days his chicken fan status should also be at a more reasonable level. All he needed was some time. If he only could stay alive until then. Valtersen hadn’t expressed any interest in killing Even yet, but all that really took was a split second of a bad day.

Then again, Even had really arranged some rather bad days, hadn’t he?

Nearly burning up the cabin.

Trying to save the chickens.

Crashing into the deer and ending up here in the first place.

“Hey! Chicken whisperer! I’m talking to you here.”

Even blinked. He looked up at Valtersen.

“Do you really think I am a chicken whisperer?”

“Fuck if I know. They never told  _ me _ their names, and I have raised them from chicks.”

“Oh dear, are you jealous?! I totally didn’t mean to steal their affection from you!”

Valtersen sighed and rubbed his temples.

“I’ll live, thank you. Now, are you listening to me?”

Even nodded.

“Yes. This is how I look like when I’m listening.”

To Even’s surprise, Valtersen actually looked. Even hoped he looked like someone who was listening. At least Valtersen started talking again.

“I will need to go to the town. Again. I need a list of things you actually, really, for real need for the next three months or so, because when the winter hits full on, the roads will not be fit for travel.”

“Three months?! You’re keeping me here over Christmas?!”

“I would really rather not. But it might be necessary. I don’t control the weather.”

Even almost exclaimed that he sort of did. Then he remembered that wind wasn’t the only kind of weather, and that he probably wasn’t in charge of even that, because nobody in their right mind would let him be.

“That’s just. A really long time. And I have never missed a Christmas. My family will be so worried about me.”

“They’re not already?”

Even blushed and shook his head. Nope.

“It’s not unheard of that I disappear for weeks, or even months. But Christmas? That’s a big one.”

“I’m sorry about that. But the winter has no mercy. We can try to save the chickens, but it’s more likely than not that you won’t be home for Christmas.”

Even noticed something important he had missed earlier.

“Wait. You’re considering letting me go home if it’s possible?”

“Well, I don’t intend to keep you, either?”

“But aren’t you going to -- you know --” Even didn’t dare say it. It might give Valtersen ideas. As if his general shenanigans hadn’t already.

Valtersen raised his brows and gave his head a little shake.

“Going to what?”

Even swallowed. His voice had lost its power, it was just a whisper.

“Kill me?”

Valtersen stared at Even. For a long time. Then he got up and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?” Even hurried to ask.

Valtersen yanked the door open. Even grabbed the blanket to shield himself from the cold air.

“I’m getting you a pen and paper, so you can make that list.”

“I’m sorry I said you could kill me!”

Valtersen raised his middle finger and showed it to Even over his shoulder. He slammed the door shut so hard the water ladle fell from the shelf into the bucket.

Even curled up under the blanket. He was feeling like a little boy who had made his father angry. That was a stupid thought, because these days little boys didn’t need to be afraid of their fathers anymore. At least Even hoped so. He wasn’t actually afraid, against all reason. Valtersen didn’t seem too keen on killing him.

Still Even jumped a bit when Valtersen returned. And checked if the man was holding a hunting knife or something. But all he saw was a notebook and a pen. The first page of the notebook had round squiggles on it. Valtersen had tested the pen.

“Here. I’ll be back in an hour. Do not piss in the water bucket, if you can make it that far piss out the door.”

On that note, Valtersen threw the notebook and pen on the bed. He dug out a tin that had a promising rattle from his pocket, a bottle of water from the other, and left again. This time he didn’t slam the door, at least. After checking the box - yes! Painkillers! - and downing the pills Even took the pen in his had and sighed. What would he need for three months.

He listed all the meds he took in a day, and their dosage. Valtersen was a smart man, he could do the math. What else did he need? Chocolate. He really, really needed chocolate. Food, in general. Painkillers. The pen started acting up, and Even drew a couple of quick lines on the side. The movement picked up a momentum of its own, and before Even knew it he wasn’t writing anymore. He was sketching.

Even raised his eyes from the drawing when he heard someone at the door. He glanced at the notebook. Fuck. He would be in so much trouble again.

Valtersen stepped inside and looked at the paper on Even’s lap. He stared at the short list and the detailed portrait of Pedro that filled up most of the page.

“I really can’t leave you alone for two seconds, can I?”

The man sounded defeated. Even hung his head. He had been given a simple task, and he had failed magnificently. Valtersen took the notebook and looked at it closer. Then he handed it back to Even.

“Time to get moving, starving artist. The breakfast is waiting.”

Valtersen helped Even up from the bed, out of the sauna house and with a short pit stop at the outhouse they made their way into the cabin. When Even was sitting by the table Valtersen placed the notebook in front of him.

“When you have eaten finish the list. If you manage to do that without distractions I will bring you the best drawing supplies I can find. Don’t expect too much, the store isn’t big.”

Before Even had time to get excited about his upcoming present Valtersen kept talking.

“Your meds will take some work. I might have to drive to the next town, and that’s a long drive. I will need to stay overnight on that journey, two nights if things don’t go the best possible way they can. Can you fend for yourself that long? Do  _ not _ try to take care of the chickens too, I’ll make sure they have all they need before I go and if you open the door you will let the heat out.”

Even pouted. He was not happy about this development. But Valtersen was right, his meds were tricky to acquire if you didn’t want to leave a paper trail. And he couldn’t keep driving back and forth to town, people would get suspicious.

“You need to tell me you can take care of yourself, Even.”

It was so weird to hear Valtersen use his name. He said it with a totally different tone than city boy or starving artist.

“Yes. I can. I’m feeling better today than yesterday, and tomorrow I’ll be even more stable.”

Valtersen nodded. He filled Even’s mug with hot coffee.

“Good. Now, eat up. You have a list to make.”


End file.
